Episode Details

Rob Bernstein opens with a produced satirical cold open recapping the full lunacy of the Iran war, then dives into why the Kash Patel hack was probably Iran flexing that they have more dirt where that came from. The episode centers on the growing case for breaking up with Israel: other countries are paying Iran for Hormuz access, creating a natural off-ramp to the war that only Israel loses from -- and Donald Trump might finally be cornered into choosing between Netanyahu and reality. Rob tears through clips of Caroline Levitt insisting Iran has "already been defeated" while Iran blows up a $300 million plane and strikes Israeli desalination plants, Marco Rubio's goalpost-shifting "weeks not months" timeline that's now past a month, Netanyahu telling Trump to ignore anti-war polls, and Ben Shapiro's pitch for ground troops that boils down to "we have a military so we might as well use it." Trump's staff reveals they have an unofficial rule of waiting for him to say something twice before acting on it because he says too much crazy stuff, and Rob proposes a 24-hour confirmation system for presidential statements. The show wraps with USAID green energy grift allegations in Ukraine, the TSA self-funding fix, and DeSantis spending $2 million to rename an airport after Trump. Full episode on YouTube: RobbieTheFire More content and paywalled episodes at robbernsteincomedy.com -- all five bucks a month. Merch at: RobbernsteinMerch.com Sponsors: YOKRATOM.com --- ## Chapters 00:00:00 - Cold Open: The Iran War Satirical Newsreel 00:06:07 - Kash Patel Hack: Iran Flexing They Got More 00:07:01 - Countries Paying Iran for Hormuz Access: The Off-Ramp 00:09:52 - Cut Your Losses and Break Up With Israel 00:12:09 - Trump Wants His Signature on US Currency 00:13:35 - Trump's Negotiation Timeline: 5 Days, 10 Days, 15 Days 00:14:06 - Iran Blows Up a Kurdish Oil Tanker and a $300M Plane 00:15:14 - The Military's "95% Obliterated" Lie 00:16:57 - New York Post Selling the War: Ex-General Says We're Ahead of Schedule 00:17:42 - Roll the Clip: Rubio's War Timetable 00:19:17 - Rubio on Iran: Imagine If They Spent Money on Their People 00:20:42 - Rubio's Weeks Not Months Claim vs. Reality 00:23:06 - Netanyahu Says War Beyond Halfway Point, Tells Trump to Ignore Polls 00:25:28 - War Progress Report: Only 30% of Stockpiles Destroyed 00:26:00 - Trump on the Aircraft Carrier Getting Hit 00:27:05 - 13 US Bases Uninhabitable and Remote Work Joke 00:27:44 - Caroline Levitt: Iran Has Already Been Defeated 00:30:05 - Monty Python "Tis But a Scratch" Iran Comparison 00:30:40 - The Hill: Trump's Staff Waits for Him to Say It Twice 00:33:41 - Comments Break 00:37:40 - Trump Distracted by a Gold Tractor 00:38:26 - Proposal: ADD Trump Off These Topics with Atlantis 00:39:44 - Trump on Unused 10-Year-Old Equipment (Epstein Context) 00:40:25 - Trump's 15-Point Iran Truce Plan Lets Missiles Slide 00:42:54 - Trump Annoyed France Won't Share Airspace 00:44:53 - Europe Breaking Up With Israel Over Oil 00:45:15 - Ben Shapiro's Pitch for Ground Troops 00:46:00 - This Is COVID All Over Again: Two Weeks to Slow the Curve 00:48:12 - Shapiro Flips the Script: "Military Activity Is Necessary" 00:50:51 - Iranian Propaganda Guy Mocking Trump and Epstein Connection 00:53:02 - Mark Levin Troops on the Ground Tease 00:53:18 - Trump on Fox: My Uncle at MIT Knew Nukes 00:55:37 - Hegseth on Hormuz Tolling: "Unacceptable" 00:58:03 - Producer Man Technical Difficulties 00:58:23 - Netanyahu "I Can Control the Height of the Flames" Leaked Video 01:00:34 - USAID Ukraine Clean Energy Grift Allegations 01:02:53 - At Least Trump Gives Us Real Problems (Not Climate Nonsense) 01:03:29 - Ice Core CO2 Study: Both Sides Claim Victory 01:04:27 - TSA Self-Funding Fix: Just Charge $10 a Ticket 01:05:30 - Politicians Only Fix Things When It Affects Their Flights 01:07:06 - Florida Renames Palm Beach Airport for Trump 01:07:34 - Comments, Paywall Tease, and Sign-Off