Episode Details

It’s Season 3, Episode 1 of The Valley, and the snark squad is breaking down a premiere that proves "suburban bliss" is just code for "legal fees." We’re unpacking Brittany’s solo era as she officially hunts for her sparkle while Jax drags his feet on a divorce moving slower than dial-up. The awkwardness hit a fever pitch when Jesse rolled into a group hang with his new girlfriend, Lacy, completely blindsiding Michelle and proving that the only thing faster than a Valley breakup is a Valley rebound. We’re also dissecting Kristen and Luke’s rocky transition into parenthood, which is fueled by sleepless nights and a bizarre discovery: Luke and Lala Kent actually used the same sperm bank. Between Janet’s ongoing feud tour and the financial strain of starting over, we’re asking: is this a neighborhood raising kids, or just a neighborhood watch for each other’s inevitable meltdowns?