Episode Details
Back to Episodes“Why Can’t Mom Sit Still?” Maryam Banikarim on Why Busy Is Her Drug & the Messy Parts Are the Point
Description
What happens when a high-powered career hits unexpected turns? In this deeply personal episode of The Messy Parts, host Maryam Banikarim flips the script as her sister, award-winning journalist Susie Banikarim, interviews her about the defining — and messy — moments behind her remarkable journey. Maryam shares stories of growing up between cultures, navigating grief after losing her father, and building a bold career across advertising, publishing, tech, and global marketing leadership. She also reflects on moments of doubt — like stepping away from a top executive role and asking, “What am I if not employed?” The conversation explores resilience, entrepreneurship, motherhood, and the importance of community, including the inspiration behind The Longest Table movement. This episode is part of a series featuring stories of leaders and founders in transition, in collaboration with The Interval.
Key Moments
00:00 — The Shame of Career Setbacks 💬
Maryam Banikarim opens the episode with an honest reflection on the shame people feel during career setbacks—and why talking openly about those moments matters.
01:20 — Growing Up During the Iranian Revolution 🌍
Maryam shares what it was like experiencing the Iranian Revolution as a child—and why, at the time, it felt more exhilarating than traumatic.
06:00 — The Day Everything Changed: Losing Her Father 💔
Maryam recounts the shocking moment her father drowned during a family vacation—and how suddenly she had to become “the functioning one.”
07:30 — “I Still Hadn’t Cried” 😔
Returning to college after her father’s death, Maryam reveals how she avoided processing grief—and the surreal conversations that followed.
11:00 — How Barnard Helped Save Her 🎓
Maryam explains why Barnard became a life-changing support system during one of the hardest periods of her life.
17:30 — “I’ve Had Like 800 Jobs” 🚀
Maryam reflects on her unconventional career path—switching roles constantly while most people stayed in one job.
23:40 — “My Drug Is Busy” ⚡
Maryam admits she thrives on constant motion—even working until the day she gave birth.
25:40 — Why Stillness Terrifies Her 🧠
After years of nonstop work, Maryam explains why slowing down forced her to confront emotions she had avoided for decades.
33:00 — “The Busiest Unemployed Person I Know” 😅
During a career pause, Maryam’s son delivers a brutally honest observation about her inability to stop moving.
35:40 — “Am I a Loser Now?” 😬
Maryam opens up about the identity crisis many people face after leaving a major job—and the fear that their career might be over.
43:30 — From Failure to Opportunity: The “We Love New York” Backlash 🔥
When a public campaign she worked on was widely mocked, Maryam turned the criticism into one of the campaign’s biggest strengths.
46:40 — The Moment That Sparked The Longest Table 🍽️
A simple idea during t
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