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Men's sexual shame doesn't look like what you think. It's not about a secret kink. It's the guy jackhammering away thinking that's what success looks like. The one who won't make eye contact. The one who avoids dating entirely — not because he doesn't want connection, but because his nervous system won't let him get close.

I sit down with Alex Gear — men's intimacy anxiety coach who never experienced sober sex until he got sober three years ago — to unpack what sexual shame is actually doing to your sex life and what you can do about it starting tonight.

In this episode:

• Why "lasting longer" and "going harder" has nothing to do with her pleasure
• The porn script that's overriding what his partner actually tells him
• How shame shows up as shallow breathing, no eye contact, and mechanical sex
• Avoidance tactics in dating and relationships — how to spot them
• Mindful masturbation as a tool for rewiring shame
• What women can do in the moment when things stall
• 3 takeaways to start improving your intimate life tonight

Find Alex: @intimacyanxietyalex on Instagram

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