Episode Details

Samantha Stewartz’s story doesn’t follow a simple arc of struggle and recovery. It unfolds through years of internal conflict, self-destructive patterns, and moments that forced her to question everything she believed about herself.

Growing up in what appeared to be a stable household, Samantha nevertheless felt like an outsider in her own family. Early experiences with bullying and being labelled “the fat kid” shaped how she saw herself for years. By adolescence, those feelings deepened into loneliness, emotional eating, and thoughts of suicide following the death of the one person she felt truly understood by — her grandfather.

In college, alcohol became a way to escape the pain she didn’t know how to process. Waking up in a bush after a night of drinking forced her to confront the trajectory she was on and led her toward building a career in fitness.

Yet success on the outside didn’t resolve what was happening internally. Patterns of binge behaviour, unhealthy relationships, and emotional turmoil continued to surface. Samantha shares openly about divorce, emotional abuse, and the moment she nearly ended her life before an experience she describes as hearing her niece’s voice calling her back to life.

A long process of therapy, personal development, and eventually a deep spiritual transformation reshaped how she understands healing, identity, and purpose.

In this conversation, Samantha reflects on the patterns that shaped her life, the tools she used to understand herself, and the practices — including video journaling — that helped her process experiences and rebuild a sense of connection.

Key Takeaways

• Early feelings of not belonging can shape identity and self-worth for years.
• Coping patterns such as binge eating, drinking, overworking, or excessive exercise can develop as ways to avoid emotional pain.
• Outward success doesn’t always reflect what someone is experiencing internally.
• Moments of crisis can become turning points that force deeper self-reflection.
• Therapy and personal development can help uncover long-standing behavioral patterns.
• Tools like video journaling can provide a practical way to observe thoughts, behaviors, and communication patterns more objectively.

About: Samantha Stewartz is a Wholistic Fitness Coach helping business women condition all parts of themselves so they're more effective in their work and live happier lives. She teaches women how to be their own best-support for well-being and equips them to carry that strength into their professional and personal settings. Her invitation is to women who want a Life of Harmony; in their families, communities, and marketplace. 

Connect: Website, IG -  updated since those mentioned in the interview

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