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You Didn't Choose Your Attachment Style, but Here's How You Can Change It - With Jessica Baum
Description
Most people think their relationship problems are about the other person. They're not — they're about an 18-month-old version of you who learned the only way to survive.
In this episode, psychotherapist Jessica Baum breaks down why your nervous system is still running a programme it wrote in infancy. Attachment styles — secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganised — aren't personality quirks. They're adaptive strategies your brain built when connection was a matter of survival. The anxious person who chases, the avoidant who disappears, the couple stuck in a loop they can't explain — it all traces back to the same source: early experiences that taught your body what to expect from closeness. Understanding that isn't just interesting. It's the beginning of actually changing it.
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Your attachment style isn't fixed — it shifts depending on who you're with
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Co-regulation isn't neediness — it's how the nervous system was designed to heal
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The goal isn't independence. It's interdependence — being whole and connected
If your relationships keep following the same painful script, this episode is where you start rewriting it.
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