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#179: When Your Questions Have an Agenda: Unpacking the Subtle Ways Control Sneaks into Coaching
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In this episode of Coaching the Whole Educator, Becca Silver talks with instructional leader and writer Lauren Kaufman about how authentic questioning and a true coaching mindset drive meaningful growth for educators. With twenty years of experience across teaching, coaching, and district leadership, Lauren explains why effective coaching begins with curiosity, psychological safety, and open dialogue rather than hidden agendas or fix-it strategies.
Lauren breaks down the difference between authentic questions and leading or agenda-driven questions, sharing the three simple questions she uses to build trust, uncover real needs, and support teacher reflection. She and Becca also explore how judgment shows up in coaching conversations, how to recognize it in the moment, and how to reset back into curiosity when a conversation starts to feel rushed or directed.
This episode is a must-listen for instructional coaches, school leaders, teacher leaders, and professional learning facilitators who want to strengthen relationships, foster teacher agency, and use questioning as a powerful tool for growth.
Find out more about Lauren's resources on her website.
[FREE RESOURCE] The Teacher Growth Mindset Workbook
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