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🎙️ Ep 10: Your Questions Answered – Diagnosis, Self-ID & “Different, Not Defective”

Episode Summary
In this Q&A episode of the AuDHD Psych Podcast, Aaron responds to questions and comments from the community about autism, ADHD, diagnosis, and what it really means to be “different, not defective.” Drawing on both clinical experience and lived AuDHD perspective, he unpacks why being autistic and having an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis are related but not identical concepts, and how context, support, and privilege shape whether traits become impairing or remain simply part of who we are.​

Aaron explores why many clearly neurodivergent people never receive a formal diagnosis, highlighting the role of masking, family strategies, and multi-generational awareness in buffering against distress and “disorder” labels. He uses accessible metaphors (like having legs versus having broken legs) to explain the difference between having autistic characteristics and meeting criteria for a disorder, and reframes autism and ADHD as neurotypes that can generate both difficulty and strength depending on the environment.​

The conversation moves into self-identification versus formal diagnosis, including the privilege, cost, and gatekeeping surrounding assessment and why Aaron prefers the language of being “self-identified” rather than “self-diagnosed.” He also addresses concerns that self-identification “mocks” those with formal diagnoses, noting that most self-identified autistic and ADHD people he meets have done deep research, grappled with imposter syndrome, and know their traits intimately long before tentatively claiming the label.​

Aaron then discusses diagnostic complexity, including how conditions like borderline personality disorder, complex trauma, OCD, and AuDHD can overlap or be misread as one another, especially when clinicians are unfamiliar with neurodivergent presentations. He illustrates how autistic and ADHD traits can be mistaken for personality pathology or compulsions when we don’t yet have a neurodiversity lens, and notes that co-occurrence is also possible — it’s not always either/or.​

Finally, Aaron touches on life stage factors such as perimenopause and shifting environmental demands (like starting university) that can dramatically change how ADHD and autistic traits show up, even when the underlying neurotype has been there since childhood. He closes by reflecting on the power of community, the emotional labour of advocacy, and his gratitude for listeners whose engagement and reviews help spread the core message of the podcast: we are different, not disordered.​

Key Themes & Takeaways

• Autism and ADHD are neurotypes (ways brains work), while “disorder” labels are applied when traits create significant difficulty in current environments.​
• Being autistic and having an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis are not the same thing; diagnosis is a professional label, not the origin of traits.​
• Many autistic and ADHD people remain undiagnosed due to masking, high intellect, strong supports, or family strategies that buffer visible impairment.​
• You can have autistic characteristics without meeting criteria for autism spectrum disorder, much like having legs without having broken legs.​
• Self-identification is often the result of extensive learning, reflection, and i

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Keywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podca