Episode Details
Back to Episodes
Why "I Treat Everyone the Same" Makes LGBTQ People Feel Invisible and What to Say Instead
Description
Get the 60-Second Ally Response Kit!
Have you ever said, “I treat everyone the same,” thinking it signaled love only to feel the room shift?
In this episode, Heather Hester unpacks one of the most common phrases well-meaning parents and allies use and why it often lands as erasure instead of inclusion.
If you’re trying to support your LGBTQ child but sometimes feel unsure what to say, this conversation offers practical, grounded guidance to help you move from equality language to equity-based support.
In this episode, you’ll:
- Understand the critical difference between equality and equity in LGBTQ allyship
- Learn why “I treat everyone the same” can unintentionally create emotional distance
- Get simple, real-life phrases you can use to help your LGBTQ loved one feel seen, safe, and supported
You’ll walk away with more clarity, more confidence, and language that builds trust instead of tension.
Press play to learn how to upgrade one simple phrase and become the kind of LGBTQ ally whose support truly lands.
Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!
Feeling uncertain or overwhelmed? Download my free guide to take you from Panic to Plan.
Stay informed - visit my website
Join the Conversation on Substack
Read my book, Parenting with Pride.
Share More Human. More Kind.
Invite me to speak at your workshop or event
Watch on YouTube
Listen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!
This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.
At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.
For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.
Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.
More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and