Episode Details

In this rich and wide-ranging conversation, I'm joined by Leslie Forde — researcher, founder, and author of Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom's Hierarchy of Needs. Leslie's work began after a brutal return from maternity leave landed her in burnout, and what emerged from the wreckage was a research obsession that has since become a roadmap for mothers everywhere. We talk about the invisible forces quietly draining our energy, why moms have been left out of the health span movement, and why - backed by real data - your self-care is quite literally the most important thing you can do for your children.

Key Points

1. The Three Ghosts — the hidden forces sapping your time, energy, and wellbeing: mental load, decision fatigue, and time scarcity. Leslie breaks down what each one is, how they compound one another, and what you can actually do about them.
2. The suitcase metaphor — why trying to fit your needs into an already overpacked life is like traveling with a tiny suitcase and giving all the space to everyone else. (And why it's time to get your own suitcase.)
3. The biological limit on decisions — you have a decision budget each day. Once it's spent, it's spent. Understanding this changes how you structure your mornings, your work, and where you spend your mental energy.
4. Time scarcity and the brain — research shows that whether the scarcity is food, money, or time, the neurological impact is the same. Mothers are disproportionately drowning in time scarcity, and it's not a personal failing — it's math.
5. The health data that should stop us in our tracks — women live nine fewer healthy years than men, 80% of autoimmune disease sufferers are women, and postpartum suicide is a leading cause of maternal death. This is not a wellness trend. This is a health crisis.
6. The number one predictor of a child's health and happiness — spoiler: it's their mother's health and happiness. The research is clear. Your nervous system regulation is your most important parenting tool.
7. Why moms are being left out of the healthspan movement — men are biohacking their way to longevity while mothers are cleaning counters and filling out camp forms. Leslie is here to change that.
8. Practical strategies — from batching decisions to protecting your mornings to asking your manager what they actually need, there are real, tangible ways to reclaim cognitive space and build a life that works for you.

Quotes

"We feel like it's our fault — but the reality is, we are trying to cram a week's worth of stuff into a two-day suitcase."

"If you're not in good mental and physical health, it actually hurts your children. And nobody wins if you go down in flames."

"Health for moms is my ministry."

"You may have to fiercely defend your dignity and your human right to claim the space that you need. It's difficult, but it's necessary."

Resources Mentioned

1. 📖 Repair