Episode Details

The most damaging words we hear are often the ones we say to ourselves. Negative self-talk—phrases like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m a failure”—can quietly shape how we see our worth. Over time, those words begin to feel like truth.

But Scripture reminds us in Proverbs 15:4 that our words hold power: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” While this verse certainly applies to how we speak to others, it also applies to how we speak to ourselves. God never intended for our internal dialogue to crush our spirit.

Highlights

• Negative self-talk often stems from comparison and unmet expectations

• Internal words can wound as deeply as spoken ones

• Awareness is the first step in silencing harmful self-criticism

• God’s Word offers life-giving truth to replace destructive thoughts

• Speaking to ourselves with kindness reflects God’s grace toward us

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Full Transcript Below:

Ending the Toxic Cycle of Negative Self-Talk
By Vivian Bricker

Bible Reading:
“The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4). 

As someone who struggles with negative self-talk, it is hard not to speak badly about myself. Growing up, I could never measure up to my sisters in skill or ability, and even in the present day, I still feel that I fall short. I’m not a gifted speaker, writer, or artist like my family members, and this makes me feel insecure. 

My eldest sister was a pro at basketball, and my dad loved watching her play. She was also great at drawing various creatures, including Pokémon, as they were her favorite. My other older sister is a master at writing, crafting stories, creating artwork, and playing the piano. My mom used to praise her splendid piano concertos and art assignments. 

I tried my best at art, music, and sports, but I was never good enough. I simply couldn’t measure up. There was no praise, encouragement, or someone cheering me on from the sidelines. This left me feeling completely worthless, which led to the start of negative self-talk. 

A few days ago, I was sitting in my primary care doctor’s office when my doctor asked me why I was so glum. I didn’t want to go into detail with him about recent events that led me back to the same feelings of worthlessness. I chose to look at the white and blue checked floors as he went through a depression scree