Episode Details

Alyson and I have some exciting news to share with you—we’ve recently got engaged! We’ve been on an evolutionary journey to this point for some time, and we’re both excited to shift into this next adventure in our life. We recorded this co-host conversation in the mountains of Aspen, Colorado, sitting next to a river at the foot of the grottos. This is a special couples episode all about conscious relationships.

If you’re someone who seeks to improve the relationship you’re in or find the one that you deserve, this is the episode for you. If we can do it, anyone can.

07:55 — An update: We’re engaged!

• Spilling the secret on Instagram
• Making the engagement ceremony special
• The emotions Luke felt at that moment
• Being your full self with each other

23:18 — Doing the work

• Mutual, radical acceptance
• Gravitating towards different environments
• Not being too reactive to the moment and being present
• Things are not perfect but they are almost always positive

33:47 — Returning to your center

• We all need more self-awareness
• How to return to center when you feel removed from reality
• Spending years facing uncomfortability

42:05 — The futility of perfectionism

• You get closer to perfection the less you try
• Sharing how we met in Episode 275
• Feeling survivors guilt for having a good relationship
• Finding the fine line between having compassion and empathy or allowing someone to take responsibility

53:05 — Noticing your dysfunctional patterns

• How two people on different paths can come together through a shared purpose
• Examining your dysfunctional patterns from past relationships
• How addiction damages families
• When a relationship feels “right” because it’s familiar… to your previous dysfunction.
• Having someone on the outside to notice blind spots

01:00:42 — Healthy boundaries

• Knowing how to hold healthy boundaries is the key to any healthy relationship
• Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is remove yourself from a situation
• Don’t cosign people’s bullshit
• When boundaries are crossed as a kid, they don’t learn how to apply boundaries
• Figuring out who you need to be in order to be in a relationship

01:13:00 — Learning different lessons

• Doing the work yourself or while in relationships
• Feeling what comes up through Source or through experience
• Uncovering lessons through the use of plant medicine
• Finding your personal value and what you have to bring to the relationship
• Knowing who you are, your strengths and weaknesses

01:29:12 — Our need to be respected

• We need to be respected by others, but it can’t happen until we