Episode Details

We kick things off in FOLLOW UP with the ongoing "nuclear war" between Automattic and WP Engine, where discovery has revealed Matt Mullenweg’s alleged hit list of competitors and a desperate attempt to bully payment processors—because nothing says "open source" like an eight-percent royalty shakedown. Meanwhile, the Harvard Business Review confirmed what we already knew: AI isn’t reducing our work; it’s just compressing it until we’re all working through lunch and burning out faster while Polymarket turns our collective brain rot into a literal "attention market" where you can bet on Elon’s mindshare.

Transitioning to IN THE NEWS, Elon has officially pivoted SpaceX from Mars to the Moon, presumably because building a "self-growing lunar city" is easier than admitting the Red Planet is hard, though his xAI all-hands rant about "ancient alien catapults" suggests he’s been staring at the sun too long. Between X allegedly taking blue-check lunch money from sanctioned Iranian leaders, Meta facing trials for creating "predator-friendly hunting grounds," and Russia finally pulling the plug on WhatsApp, the internet is looking more like a digital dumpster fire than ever. Add in Discord leaking 70,000 government IDs, OpenAI shoving ads into ChatGPT while safety researchers flee the building like it’s on fire, and a "cognitive debt" crisis eroding our ability to think, and you’ve got a recipe for a tech-induced psychosis that even crypto-funded human trafficking can’t outpace.

In MEDIA CANDY, we're wondering about the soft-core porn intro in the latest Star Trek: Starfleet Academy while Apple buys the total rights to Severance for seventy million dollars—because in-house production is the only way to keep those ballooning budgets under control. Super Bowl trailer season gave us a glimpse of The Mandalorian and Grogu and a Project Hail Mary teaser, while Babylon 5 has finally landed on YouTube for free, proving that even 90s serialized sci-fi eventually finds its way to the clearance bin.

Over in APPS & DOODADS, Meta Quest is nagging us for our birthdays like a needy relative, while Roblox had to scrub a mass-shooting simulator—because "AI plus human safety teams" is apparently just code for "we missed it until it hit the forums." Ring’s Super Bowl ad for "Search Party" accidentally terrified everyone by revealing a mass surveillance network for pets that’s a slippery slope toward a police state, and Waymo is now paying DoorDashers ten bucks just to walk over and close the car doors that autonomous tech still can’t figure out.

Wrapping up with THE DARK SIDE WITH DAVE, we dive into the Mandalorian Hasbro reveal where Sigourney Weaver’s action figure comes with no accessories because her existence is enough of a flex. We explore the grim reality of "RentAHuman," where humans are paid pittance to pretend AI agents are actually doing work, and look at "Trash Talk Audio," which sells a $125 microphone made out of a literal old telephone for that authentic Gen-X "get off the line, I'm expecting a call" aesthetic. From Marcia Lucas finally venting about the prequels and a rare book catalog specifically for our aging generation, we’re reminded that while the future is a chaotic mess of "GeoSpy" AI and corporate reshuffling at Disney, at least we still have our cynical memories and some free versions of Roller Coaster Tycoon to keep us from losing it completely.

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