Episode Details

“That chip on my shoulder made me less empathetic, more rushed, too eager to solve things too fast, and less thoughtful. That chip built me, but then it started to tear me down.”

I said that recently in a conversation with Harriet Mellor of Your Sales Co, and it captures something every sales leader needs to understand. 

I grew up in the sales training business. My dad literally wrote THE book on prospecting—several of them, actually. I worked at Paycom, Comcast, and various startups where I consistently crushed my numbers.

But what I learned is that knowing the right techniques and getting your team to actually implement them are two completely different challenges. Sales training resistance is rarely about bad content. More often, it is about ego and pride standing in the way of growth. I had to recognize that in myself before I could address it in the people I lead.

Why Your Top Performers Resist Training the Most

When I was a rep, I was terrible at taking coaching. Not because I didn’t understand the concepts. I understood them better than most. But when someone tried to coach me, I tuned out.

The problem was I’d already figured out a system that worked. I was hitting my numbers. Why would I mess with it?

Think about learning golf. You chunk the ground twenty times, then suddenly you make contact. The ball doesn’t go straight or very far, but it goes. Someone tries to teach you proper form, your first thought is, “I already figured out how to hit the ball.”

That’s where many top performers live. They’ve reached an equilibrium. Not peak performance, but functional competence. Training feels disruptive because it threatens what is currently working.

They’re not resisting because they’re stubborn. They’re resisting because they have something to lose. What if they try something new and their numbers drop? They’d rather stay at 85% effectiveness than risk dropping to 60%, even if it means eventually reaching 120%.

Two Ways Ego Hurts Performance

Creates Rush Instead of Curiosity

At Paycom, I carried a massive chip on my shoulder. I carried the same name as my dad. People knew who he was. I felt pressure to prove I belonged.

So I rushed. I skipped discovery. I pushed toward proposals. I talked more than I listened. Every call felt like a test I needed to pass.

You can hear this on your team’s calls. Reps who are trying to prove something move too fast. They stop asking questions. They perform instead of selling.

That behavior is driven by ego, and it costs deals.

Telling them to slow down will not fix it. You need to understand what they feel compelled to prove and why they associate speed with competence.

Blocks From Actually Learning

When I was carrying a quota, I thought I was a lifelong learner. I read every sales book. I listened to podcasts. I sat through hours of training sessions.

But when it came to changing what I did on Monday morning, I defaulted right back to what I knew.

I’d hear a new objection handling technique and think, “Yeah, I basically already do that.” I didn’t. But ego wouldn’t let me see the gap.

Your salespeople are doing the same thing right now.

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