Episode Details

We’ve been teaching kids resilience all wrong.

If you’ve ever watched your child fall apart over homework, friendships, or an impossibly messy bedroom - this episode reframes everything you think you know about “being strong.”

Resilience isn’t grit.
It isn’t white-knuckling.
And it definitely isn’t doing it alone.

Justin and Kylie unpack the powerful truth backed by decades of research: resilience is relational — and what our kids need most when they’re struggling is us, closer than ever.

KEY POINTS

• Why “tough it out” parenting quietly backfires
• The research that proves one relationship can change a child’s life
• How support builds competence (not dependence)
• What to do in the moment when your child feels overwhelmed
• Why moving closer is the most powerful parenting move you can make

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Resilience isn’t doing it alone. It’s knowing you’re not alone while you do it.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Nine Ways to a Resilient Child — Justin Coulson
• Emmy Werner’s Kauai Longitudinal Study
• Harvard Study of Adult Development
• happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

• When your child is struggling, move closer — not further away
• Sit with them instead of fixing it for them
• Break big tasks into tiny, doable steps
• Let your voice become the calm they borrow
• Model asking for help — it teaches strength, not weakness

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