Episode Details

Dive into a mind-blowing deep dive where Malcolm and Simone Collins expose the Jedi Order as the ultimate villains of the Star Wars universe! Forget the heroic myths—this episode breaks down how the Jedi are controlled by a parasitic hive mind (midi-chlorians), enforce child kidnapping and soldier training, uphold a dystopian Republic riddled with corruption and slavery, and lie about the true nature of the Force. Drawing from canon lore like The Clone Wars, prequels, and even the Mortis arc, we argue Palpatine was right, Anakin did nothing wrong, and the Empire might actually be the good guys. Plus, real-world parallels to parasites like toxoplasmosis and cultural brainwashing. Is Star Wars secretly a horror story? Buckle up for facts, rants, and a killer outro!

Episode Transcript

Malcolm Collins: [00:00:00] Simone. I’m excited to be here with you today. Today we are going to be talking about how the Jedi order from the Star Wars universe is quite possibly the most evil organization in any sci-fi universe I have ever read.

Simone Collins: They are actual scum. They are actual scum.

Malcolm Collins: They are. When you, when you actually think about it, you’re like, oh my God. The Star Wars universe under the Republic was a complete dystopia and the empire was needed. Palpatine was right. So, and, and I, I’m not gonna make stretches here. I’m not gonna bend outside the lore. You’re just gonna stage

Simone Collins: facts,

Malcolm Collins: the lore of mm-hmm.

The Star Wars universe. So. Right.

Simone Collins: Okay.

Malcolm Collins: They have these symbiotic organisms called MIT chloron. Mm-hmm. Now you could say they’re symbiotic, but they’re really [00:01:00] not symbiotic. They’re more parasitic. , Why do I say that? They’re parasitic rather than symbiotic. Well, because when they reach high enough levels in a host, that host loses their ability to breed.

IE the Jedi have to be celibate.

And it’s made very clear if you have too high a level of this parasitic inflection. If your mitol count is too high, you deal with extreme negative side effects, or at least this is what those infected with the parasite and who follow its will say extreme negative side effects if you attempt to breed.

So this. Parasitic organisms that lives in humanoids. They ha has a hive mind that we call the, the light side of the force that they worship. They have to serve the will of it. By the way, it, it lies to them about its true nature provably in the, the, the Star Wars universe.

Oh,

Simone Collins: does it? They

Malcolm Collins: they have [00:02:00] to. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn’t create the force or anything like that. The, the force is, we learned the history of the force and the mortis arc. So it is a. Parasitic hive mind that is lying to them about how it grants them presumably magic like powers. Then they sort the entire society of the universe into a hierarchy based on your level of infection by this parasite.

Simone Collins: God,

Malcolm Collins: this is, I mean this is just, just any fact. Any

Simone Collins: fact, yes.

Malcolm Collins: When, when, when they go and they find Anakin.

Simone Collins: Oh

Malcolm Collins: yeah. Right. They’re like, oh, he has X white chloron count, which means that one day he, he could be one of the most powerful Jedi ever. Mm. Right. I haven’t even gone into the child kidnapping and stuff like that yet, which we will get to.

Oh,

Simone Collins: child soldiers? Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Malcolm Collins: No, no, no. They have literal child soldiers. When Anakin [00:03:0