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So today, I want to focus on the power of relationships in psychotherapy.One of another book one of my favorite books is called The Road List Travel by M. Scott Peck.He wrote this book way back in 1978.It's been on my shelf for years, and I've pulled it off so many times.So many times, though, that it's actually fallen apart, bindings.But I love something that he says that I agree with.And this is about the relationship.We are now able to see the essential ingredient that makes psychotherapy effective and successful.It is not unconditional positive regard, nor is it magical words, techniques, or postures.It is human involvement and struggle.It is the willingness of the therapist to extend himself or herself for the purpose of nurturing the patient's growth.Willingness to go out on a limb, to truly involve oneself at an emotional level in the relationship,to actually struggle with the patient and with oneself.In short, the essential ingredient of successful,deep and meaningful psychotherapy is love.I love that definition.Deep and meaningful psychotherapy is love.Love is, as he says in his book.Love is as love does.Love is not soft.Love is not fluffy.Love is not taking the easy way.It's about being willing to engage in a relationship where another human being is struggling or suffering.And for a therapist, there's another great book called On Being a Therapist. Dr.Or Jeffrey a Kotler.A lot of this book, at least the preface,talks about the relationship not only how the therapist is supposed to influence the patients or clients seeking help, but how the therapists themselves are influenced.A couple of things he says.One thing that is not this is the revised edition.One thing that has not changed much since the first publication of this book is that the process of psychotherapy still flows in two directions.This is obviously the case in the direction of influencing the client, but it is also true with respect to affecting the personal life of the clinician.This impact can be, for better or for worse, making the helping professions among the most spiritually fulfilling as well as the most emotionally draining human endeavors.Some of us flourish as a result of this work.We learn from those we try to help and apply what we know and understand to ourselves.And some of us become depleted and despondent over time.We may become cynical or indifferent, or stale.Can the therapist be immune to the influence of prolonged exposure to human despair, conflict, and suffering?So just for me personally, after doing this work for many years, I've experienced what he's talking about both.I love the work.I love being fully engaged with those I'm privileged to work with.Not only do I hopefully encourage them and help them find some relief from their suffering, but I've learned a lot in the process also.But it really does go both ways.I'm reminded of a good friend who finally got his license.It's not an easy process to get your license, of being a psychotherapist anyway,or a licensed mental health counselor.From start to finish.It's 4567.It's about ten years, 910 years of pretty grueling work and effort before you finally have your license, an independent license, where you don't need to be supervised by anyone, et cetera.And I remember one individual finally getting his license, finally getting it.And when you're in that state where you're hoping to get your license and pass your final exams and so forth, it's just a grueling process.He walked down the hall of the clinic we were working, and he showed me his little magic cord.I got my license, and then he said to me, blew me away.He says I'm not going to do this work.And they go, what do you mean?Because I can't do it.I get too wrapped up in my clients.I can't sleep at night.It tears me up when I don't see clients get better.I feel like a failure.I just can't do this work.I'm going to go do something else.And that's what he did.So, yeah, in a sense, it's like a war zone dealing with human suffering