Episode Details

Kinky sex, vulvar-vaginal healing, and redefining what intimacy can be—Kawena shares about reclaiming pleasure, unlearning porn narratives, and building safer, more loving connections.

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📈 STATS | 25 bisexual cis woman, she/her pronouns, kinky switch, in a currently monogamous relationship, has chronic vulvar and vaginal pain, tattoo apprentice, bartender, from Hawai’i, into: kink, foot worship and play, stepping on necks, pegging, period sex, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, smut, erotic audio, and experiencing other people’s pleasure

⏰ TIME CODE

00:00 What feels sexy now: confidence, kindness, and living in alignment

05:03 Attraction beyond looks and why personality creates desire

10:21 Values, politics, and feeling turned on by how someone moves through the world

15:18 Learning safety through communication, crying, and being met with care

20:03 Realizations about past sexual experiences and creating safety

25:14 Early porn exposure, talking with her mom, and separating porn from real life sex

30:18 First sexual relationships and learning desirability without true consent

35:31 Shame, objectification, and the emotional impact of early experiences

40:44 Redefining “good sex,” orgasms, and pleasure without performance pressure

46:02 Anxiety, excitement, and how bodies respond to emotional intimacy

51:36 Her partner’s grief and finding connection during major life transitions

56:48 Talking about sex as foreplay and building trust through conversation

1:01:54 Listening to Sex Stories together and letting stories spark desire

1:07:06 Crying, curiosity, and expanding intimacy through shared reflection

1:12:12 Watching themselves have sex and noticing what feels hot

1:17:21 Panties, ritual, and playful erotic routines at home

1:22:34 Media narratives, porn saturation, and missing context around sex

1:27:58 Chronic sexual pain, pelvic floor therapy, and learning about the body

1:33:41 Decentering penetration and expanding what sex can look like

1:39:16 Encouragement, affirmation, and making healing feel intimate

1:44:42 Letting go of shame and unlearning inherited ideas about sex

1:50:11 Exploring kink, sensation, and curiosity around pleasure

1:55:42 Experimentation, communication, and redefining erotic success

2:00:04 Gaps in sex education and the desire for more grounded resources

2:05:18 What she would tell her younger self about sex and self