Episode Details

IN POLITICAL NEWS

1) In the biggest news of the day, President Trump took a flamethrower to the Davos crowd. Here is his entire (long) speech. He roasted the stupid Mediocre Brits for just sitting on energy while having energy shortages. He also, as always, negotiated a deal for territory in Greenland. Chowderchimneys as always failed to understand Trump's negotiating tactics. He begins with, "We want Greenland." But he really doesn't. What he wants is access to key areas of Greenland for the Golden Dome defense. Libs and Hoax Newsers freak out. "Trump is going to invade Greenland." Moronic Little Macaroni in France says "we'll send troops." Germany actually SENT 13 guys (!!!!), then withdrew them after 48 hours. Trump conquered France and Germany in less time than it took the Nazis to take Poland. Now they're all, "Oh, wait, you will be happy with THESE territories? Sure! Fine!" Trump then called off the extra tariffs. And NOW we get the "experts" saying, "You know, Greenland is critical to defending against Russkie and ChiCom missiles." The New York Slimes tries to minimize this astounding accomplishment by saying he's getting "pockets" of territory. Exsqueeze me, Slimes. If someone said they "wanted' New York, and ended up only getting the "pocket" of NYC, I'm pretty sure they'd be viewed as successful. Don't think anyone will fight too much over the fact they got to keep the Buffalo Hillbillies. Then Howard Luttnick came on stage and said, "Globalism has failed." The only thing more painful to those chatterspatters would have been if he finished with "In the Name of Jesus," but that may be a bridge too far for a Jew.

2) In New Somalia, better known as MN, Blind Lemon Don faces (irony) KKK charges in barging into a church to terrify worshipers. The DOJ is investigating, but the chorus of "WE WANT ARRESTS" is starting to become deafening. I have defended Bondi, but now we're a year in, had two hapless efforts to arrest James Scrotumtoter Comey and Letitia James that went awry, and nothing else. To say the natives are restless would be an understatement. One of the invaders was a staffer in the county attorney's office. Oh, and the Eighth Circuit said that ICE and cops can go back to using normal, approved tactics with the Molochian eggplant ea