Episode Details

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Why is it that one small comment can turn into a full-blown argument in some relationships, while in others, it barely causes a ripple?

In this episode of The Anger Secrets Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explains why relationships don’t usually break down because of the big arguments. They unravel through hundreds of small moments that slowly erode trust, safety and goodwill.

You’ll learn a powerful concept that explains why the same words can feel harmless one day and deeply triggering the next, and how small, practical shifts can dramatically change the emotional climate of your relationship.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

1. Why small moments often matter more than big arguments
2. The difference between positive and negative sentiment override
3. How stress, resentment and anger quietly change how partners interpret each other
4. Why neutral comments can start to feel critical or attacking
5. Three simple shifts that help keep relationships emotionally safe and resilient

Three practical shifts discussed:

1. Let your partner influence you — resentment grows when one person feels unheard
2. Increase expressions of appreciation — positive interactions must be intentional
3. Turn towards each other — small responses build emotional safety over time

Want help applying this?

If you’re noticing your relationship feels tense, reactive or fragile, support is available:

1. Watch the free training on breaking the anger cycle
2. Book a free 30-minute Anger Assessment Call
3. Learn more about The Complete Anger Management System

Visit angersecrets.com to get started.

Relationships aren’t usually damaged in one big moment. They change direction through small choices made every day.

And remember:

You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.