Episode Details

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When you finally stop trying… it can feel like everything suddenly shifts.

And with a Fearful Avoidant, that shift often activates a powerful, and confusing, internal reaction.

Understanding what actually happens inside a fearful avoidant when you’re done trying can give you clarity, closure, and the confidence to stop second-guessing yourself.

🎥 Episode Summary

In today’s video, Thais Gibson breaks down the 4 major internal reactions a fearful avoidant experiences when they realize you’re truly done trying.

You’ll learn why Fearful Avoidants often swing between distance and pursuit, how abandonment fears get activated, and why reconnecting doesn’t always mean they’re ready for a healthy relationship.

This episode is especially important if you:
Feel stuck in a painful push–pull dynamic
Are trying to understand a Fearful Avoidant’s mixed signals
Keep getting pulled back in after you start letting go
Or are a Fearful Avoidant wanting insight into your own patterns

✨ Key Takeaways

✔ Why a Fearful Avoidant’s fear of abandonment activates when you stop trying
✔ The sudden shift from withdrawal into pursuit and what it really means
✔ Why pursuit doesn’t always equal readiness for commitment
✔ The nostalgia and reminiscing stage Fearful Avoidants go through
✔ How rewriting the story helps them emotionally shut down
✔ Why codependent patterns keep these cycles repeating
✔ How healing your attachment style breaks the push–pull loop

⏱ TIMESTAMPS

00:00 – What Happens When A Fearful Avoidant Realizes You’re Done Trying
00:58 – Fear of Abandonment Gets Activated
01:55 – The Two Sides of Fearful Avoidants
03:05 - Fearful Avoidants Will Swing Into Pursuit
03:40 - Fearful Avoidants Don’t Want The Relationship to Work Again
04:30 - How Fearful Avoidants Act When Their Fear of Abandonment Is Activated
05:25 - Fearful Avoidants Can Be Blind To How Their Actions Affect Other People
06:08 - Fearful Avoidants Might Feel Like Their Pain Is Normal
07:34 - When Fearful Avoidants Realize You’re Not Trying, They Start Reminiscing
08:53 - Ending Relationship Codependency & Enmeshment Promo
09:33 -  When Fearful Avoidants Realize You’re Not Trying, They Rewrite The Story

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

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