A Nagging Feeling; A Gift

by Autumn Dickson

Welcome to the Old Testament. I remember the first year I prepared to teach from the Old Testament back in 2022, and I remember being quite overwhelmed with the idea of it. The Old Testament is a very foreign way of writing; it holds a lot of cultural context that can make it difficult. As I worked to prepare messages that year, I found that I wasn’t totally wrong in my apprehension. The Old Testament was hard, and it took me much longer to find messages in there and to understand the messages.

But I also grew to love the Old Testament that year. I testify that it is worth studying, and it’s worth the extra effort. Oftentimes the things that require the most of us are the very things that draw us closer to Christ and therefore, become our favorite things.

Which is actually what I want to share today.

I remember sitting in a church class and hearing someone say something along the lines of, “We need to stop making people feel bad if they don’t study everyday. Some of us just can’t, and God still loves us.” I thought that was an interesting observation to make for a couple of reasons.

The first reason I found it interesting was because I hadn’t heard a single comment that was remotely condemning towards those who hadn’t been studying everyday. If someone was feeling guilty about not studying, it wasn’t coming directly from the other people who were commenting. Was it coming from the Holy Ghost or from social pressure? I’m not sure. However, let’s focus more on my second reason for finding this comment interesting. That reason is going to take the rest of my message.

The Lord very strongly asked me to start creating content for the Come Follow Me program. It started with a blog; I felt much more comfortable with this because I could hide behind my writing and not put my face up there. I still didn’t want to do the blog because it sounded like it would take a ton of effort, but it sounded more doable than other forms of sharing content. The Lord is tricky that way sometimes because after I got the hang of a blog, He told me to expand my efforts to YouTube. Then a podcast. Instagram. Facebook. TikTok. I fought Him every step of the way if we’re being totally honest.

There are a couple of reasons I fought Him. The first reason was that I didn’t want to be more visible. I had spent a good portion of my life trying to make myself more visible to feel better about myself, and it had only ever burned me. There came a point when I started doing the exact opposite. The second reason is more applicable to what I want to talk about. It was going to be so much work.

And it was. Oh my, this has all been so much work. Each step of the way has required a huge learning curve. Creating a website was overwhelming, and there were many angry tears. I almost gave up completely the first time I ever filmed a video and if it hadn’t been for my husband forcing me back into the room to try again, I might have given up. Every step of the way, my soul fought with Him over adding just a bit more. I argued that I already didn’t have time to do what I was doing. I argued that it was already requiring so much of me to put myself out there. I argued that I was already sacrificing a lot for this.

But He persisted and has won up to this point.

The effort extended beyond just a learning curve for technology. Trying to share a message about Jesus Christ every single week has been…stretching. I can’t tell you how often I’ve felt that I had nothing left to share. I