Episode Details

In this episode, we break down the pursuer–withdrawer dynamic and why partners so often misunderstand each other during conflict. We explore how our nervous systems, personal histories, and internal stories shape the meaning we make of our partner’s behavior. By slowing down and getting curious, couples can interrupt the cycle and create more connection instead of escalating disconnection.

Main Talking Points • Pursuer vs. withdrawer • Meaning-making stories • Nervous system responses • Projection in conflict • Windows of tolerance • Curiosity over certainty

Check Out Relationship Academy

Give Me Discounts!

Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today!

Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass.

Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. 

Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365.

Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off

Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners!

If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices