Happiness in Marriage

by Autumn Dickson

This week is all about The Family Proclamation. Here is the topic I want to cover.

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I want to talk about happiness in marriage specifically, but the principles I speak about can be applied more broadly to any relationship you’re going to be a part of.

Marriages are falling apart in our day. Satan is coming after the family in a multi-pronged attack, but destroying marriages is just one part of how he chooses to do this. Social media loves showing off images of bright and shiny couples, individuals who seem so much happier alone, and advice about how your spouse should be acting towards you.

We’re taught that we deserve to be happy and if we’re not happy, we should leave. We’re taught that if a spouse can’t meet our needs, we can’t be happy. We’re taught that it’s better for the kids if we’re happy. And yet, despite all of this teaching, the world can’t seem to get it together and be happy.

Oh the irony.

I love my marriage. I’m so grateful to have Conner, and there are a lot of reasons for that. One of those reasons is not because Conner or I have been perfect. It’s not because we agree on everything, or even agree on everything that’s really important. It’s not because we’ve never been mean to each other or because we’ve never had to navigate days at a time where we can’t really figure out how to get past something. It’s not because Conner is so intuitive at reading me or because I never complain.

We are two different people with different baggage, different perspectives, different personalities, different ways of handling things. We are two people who experience times of drowning stress, resentment, uncertainty, and traumas.

It can be easy to look at happy couples and assume that they have it easy, but that’s not true. It’s not true for anyone. There are relationships that hold more difficulty than others which is why I encourage everyone to seek the help of the Lord in knowing what to do. However, if you’ve married a generally decent person who doesn’t scream at you, belittle you, act violently towards you, financially abuse you, then there is hope for happiness.

And your best chance for happiness lies in following the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Christ didn’t focus on communication styles or on making sure you have everything in common ahead of entering a relationship. He didn’t focus on love languages or living together ahead of time to see if you’re compatible or any of the other stuff that the world tries pushing so hard. He doesn’t even focus on making sure the other person knows how to take care of you in a relationship. He didn’t focus on changing the other person so that you could be happy.

The foremost characteristic of Christ’s life was love, love for God and then love for others. Everything He did, the miracles and leading and teaching and forgiving and gratitude and serving all boiled down to that great love. If we want to be happy, we have to love the other person more fully.

In order to find this happiness, you have to have a correct understanding of what that love looks like. Otherwise, you run the risk of building up more resentment rather than finding happiness. Love does not mean you’re a doormat. It doesn’t mean you never say anything or complain. It doesn’t mean that you smile and stay silent when you’re hurting.

Love is not an outward action. It is an inward feelin