Episode Details

Have you ever wondered why some children seem to shrink inside themselves after a mistake, while others recover quickly and move on? In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Stephen Blumenthal, clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst and author, to explore an emotion that touches every family but is so often misunderstood: shame. 

 

Drawing on his decades of clinical experience, Stephen explains how shame is both a normal and necessary part of human development, helping children understand social boundaries and navigate relationships. But when shame is constant or overwhelming, it can shape how a child thinks and feels about themselves in ways that are not helpful.

 

We discuss what shame actually is and how it differs from guilt. Stephen offers examples of how everyday parenting moments can either support healthy development or unintentionally tip a child into feeling defective, exposed or alone. We also explore the role of emotional connection in protecting children from pathological shame, why ruptures can be repaired, and how parents' own histories influence the way we respond to our children.

Stephen shares thoughtful guidance on how parents can stay emotionally present, set boundaries in a loving way, and help young children and teenagers build resilience without slipping into criticism or humiliation.

 

If you're a parent – or supporting any young person growing up in an increasingly judgemental world – this episode offers clarity, reassurance and practical insight.

More from Dr Blumenthal: https://stephenblumenthal.com