Episode Details

In this Mind Over Masculinity episode, host Sayan sits down with retired corporate executive and author Tom Hagerty to unpack a hard truth. many men are great at performing but terrible at connecting. Drawing on 45 years in boardrooms and broken systems, Tom explains why men excel at transactional relationships yet struggle with depth, honesty and vulnerability at home, at work and in friendships.

They explore how ego, defensiveness and chronic negativity quietly guarantee that people keep their distance. Tom shares how leadership principles from his book The Business of Relationships apply directly to marriage, fatherhood and male friendships. From Sheryl Sandberg’s reminder that we are more than the worst thing we have ever done to Jack Welch’s call to “change before you have to,” this conversation is a direct, practical wake up call for men who want to be respected and genuinely liked.

About the Guest:

Tom Hagerty is a retired corporate executive, business fixer and author of The Business of Relationships. After more than 45 years leading teams, turning around underperforming organizations and mentoring leaders, he now helps men translate high level leadership skills into everyday relational skills. His work focuses on empathy, accountability, trust and continuous improvement in the way men show up as partners, fathers, friends and leaders.

Key Takeaways  :

• Men are often excellent at transactional relationships but weak at vulnerable, emotionally honest ones. especially with other men and within their own families.

• Modern disconnection is not new. men have struggled with depth and openness for generations, and technology has only intensified isolation and surface level connection.

• Ego driven habits like making everything about yourself, interrupting, gossiping, constant criticism and unreliability quietly guarantee that people will not want to be around you.

• The same behaviors that would get you fired in a corporate setting. chronic negativity, failure to say thank you, not owning mistakes. are often tolerated at home, even though they destroy trust and intimacy.

• Sheryl Sandberg’s insight that each of us is more than the worst thing we have ever done is a powerful lens for how men can offer grace, second chances and genuine support to others and to themselves.

• “Change before you have to” is not just a business mantra. applying it to relationships means taking responsibility before divorce, estrangement, addiction or crisis forces change on you.

• Practical growth for men starts with three moves. look honestly in the mirror, commit to being a little better every day and be brave enough to ask for help and do the work in community rather than as a lone wolf.

How to Connect with Tom Hagerty  :

• Read his book The Business of Relationships on Amazon. available in electronic and paperback formats.

• Email Tom directly at: HagertyPTP@gmail.com

• LinkedIn

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