Episode Details

On the show today:

• FINAL DAY FOR “WEDNESDAY” SALE:
  Tim invents a brand new holiday just to grift you: Wednesday — the last chance to snag Sideshow memberships at Black Friday/Cyber Monday pricing:

  • $6 monthly

  • $60 yearly

  • $300 lifetime (no more recurring charges, you cheap pigs)

• Kitchen Reno From Hell:

  • Lord Douche and Tim are locked in a domestic war over bisque vs. biscuit composite sinks.

  • Seven butter bells returned over micro-flaws, glazing, color, and the rotation of the Earth.

  • The kitchen is a hoarder zone; Tim has given up cleaning after being accused of throwing away “critical” chocolate shards reserved for hot cocoa.

  • Lord Douche must be mad about something at all times, and Tim’s gloves are apparently the source of all countertop chaos.

• Gay Couple Cage Match:

  • TikTok captures two extremely dramatic gays going nuclear in a hallway over bags, rain, phones, and “you won’t let me leave!”

  • One queen screeches like he’s being murdered while… standing in the hallway totally free to go.

  • Tim compares the whole thing to a live-action remake of The Birdcage and imagines himself reacting the same way when Lord Douche rethinks the sink color.

• Gabrielle Channa (Gail) Loses Her Antichrist Buffs:

  • Gail falls on a walk, skins her knee, and blames an “interdimensional attack.”

  • Claims her 10,000 IQ Antichrist healing powers have mysteriously stopped working.

  • Douses the wound in Dermoplast despite being allergic, then blames “automatons” for brain-controlling her into it.

  • Announces that doctor-husband Brent Spiner (Data from TNG) secretly did a knee replacement and replaced her synovial fluid with singer Zack Knight’s semen, which she insists is the “perfect antibiotic.”

  • Tim wonders how a deity with a trillion-IQ husband can’t handle a scrape.

• Fat Activism vs. Parking Meters:

  • A West Hollywood fat activist melts down over cute “don’t feed me, I’m on a diet” meter stickers.

  • Tim points out it’s about quarters, not calories; not everything is a personal attack on your BMI.

  • Her art? Drawing beloved characters like Sailor Moon as super-obese.

• Influencer vs. Olipop:

  • Plus-size influencer with millions of followers loses it because a soda brand only sent her swag up to XXL after she demanded 4X.

  • Tim notes that their business is soda, not custom-tailored circus tents, and encourages brands to avoid this walking PR landmine.

• Creepy Cam Hackers in South Korea:

  • Four men allegedly hacked over 120,000 home and business IP cameras.

  • Sold explicit hacked footage (including bedrooms, karaoke rooms, and a gynecology clinic) for crypto.

  • Tim points out: if you’ve got a bedroom cam with the default password, you might be an unpaid porn star.

• Japan’s “Zombie Cigarettes”:

  • New street drug: vape liquids laced with the medical anesthetic etomidate (a.k.a. “zombie juice,” “space oil,” “K-pods”).

  • Little to no euphoria, just instant sedation, twitching limbs, and full zombie mode.

  • Media fret that “zombie cigarette” sounds too cool; Tim prefers the branding “space oil” anyway.

• Voicemails & Texts:

  • Holiday greetings from the freaks, Satan shoving baby Jesus up his ass, and questions about whether Lord Douche is secretly on the spectrum.

  • Shout-outs to listen