Episode Details

In this heartfelt episode of Healthy Waves, gerontologist and caregiver expert Janice Goldmintz joins host Avik to unpack the unspoken emotional weight of caring for aging parents—especially when dementia or serious illness flips the parent-child dynamic. Drawing from her master’s in gerontology and her own decade-long journey caring for both parents with Alzheimer’s, Janice offers raw, practical wisdom: how to hold grief and love at the same time, why asking for help isn’t weakness, how to make big care decisions without tearing the family apart, and simple self-care habits that actually work when you’re running on empty. This conversation is for every adult child who feels guilty, overwhelmed, or terrified they’re “parenting their parents” wrong.

Key Takeaways

• The hardest shift isn’t the logistics—it’s emotionally moving from “child” to “care advocate” while still feeling like a kid inside.

• Acknowledge the emotions (guilt, resentment, grief) instead of suppressing them—pretending you’re “fine” only makes burnout worse.

• No one does this perfectly—even trained gerontologists make mistakes. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

• Top 3 family mistakes: (1) Assuming everyone will contribute equally, (2) Waiting until crisis to plan, (3) Refusing to adapt when the original plan stops working.

• Mindset shift that changes everything: Stop expecting fairness; assign tasks by strength, not equality—someone’s great at finances, someone else at emotional support.

• Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s self-centered (centering yourself so you can keep showing up). Put your oxygen mask on first.

• Sustainable caregiver habits: 10-minute walks (even in a mall), scheduled dog walks, quick breathing breaks, reading for knowledge/power, respite stays at retirement homes.

• With dementia: “Go where they are.” If Dad thinks he’s on the farm, ask about the animals—enter their reality to create moments of joy and deeper connection.

• Final truth: This journey is messy, exhausting, heartbreaking… and one of the most rewarding acts of love you’ll ever give.

Connect with Guest:
Janice Goldmintz – Gerontologist & Caregiver Support Expert
LinkedIn: Janice Goldmintz
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Janicecanhelp
Email: janice@talkaboutaging.com
Website & Resources: http://www.talkaboutaging.com/
Offers workshops, Lunch & Learns for organizations, and one-on-one support

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Disclaimer
This video is for educational and informational purposes only. The views expressed are the personal opinions of the guest and do not reflect the views of the host or Healthy Mind By Avik. We do not intend to harm, defame, or discredit any person, organization, brand, product, country, or profession mentioned. All third-party media used remain the property of their respec