Episode Details

The Tenth house is the performing persona. How do I portray myself out there? Am I writing the best article? Am I speaking the right way? Am I at the right party? Am I meeting the right people? Am I climbing the ladder? Tenth house is b******t, especially in a place like New York. It can eat you up from the core, from the heart. But guess what, you do it. You do it because your ambition is so big that you are so ready to sacrifice everything else just to be in a position. And then when you are in that position, you say, what is all this for, what is all this for, at what cost.

That is a tenth house. And I have my tenth house ruled by Scorpio, so it is very intense. Neptune sits on my Midheaven, so there has always been a doubt, a questioning of what power even means in the first place, and my Moon in Scorpio in the ninth, very close to the MC, keeps making me seek something that goes much deeper than external appearance. The ruler of that house Pluto, is my eighth house in Virgo, so I have a tendency to become even more critical about all the things that I needed to do to get to that place, because it is a direction. So even though there is no time, we treat it like a ladder, like you are escalating, you are arriving to the top. When you treat it with no time, when you see it as a purposeful life, things start deescalating and they start aligning, aligning.

New York City is so FIAT. What does that mean. Fiat is the monetary system that we have been living under since the inception of the Federal Reserve and the moment the dollar was taken off gold in nineteen seventy one. Every single dollar that is made is fake, and the so called value is based on external things and not on real worth. That is what I mean when I say New York is so fiat. People are constantly projecting status, projecting the ladder, projecting ambitions. If the soul in question has no boundaries and merges with the lot, it can experience a sudden shock and eventually a big inner loss. Bitcoiners can be very FIAT, so I am not romanticizing…

So right now what I feel is pure alignment to what my soul came to be, with struggle, with friction. I just came back from New York after five years of living happily in Miami Beach. I had been back in NYC briefly three times, but never more than one day, but this time I stayed a bit longer and it felt like a lifetime. There was not a single instant in that city that told me, oh my God, I am so sad I left. Every single instant was, my God, I am so happy I do not live here anymore, I do not play this game.

There were moments that showed me this very clearly. I went to see my public art piece Duration at the Prospect Avenue station with my friend Efrat. It was bittersweet. I love what I did and at the same time it is not being taken care of. Then I finally visited the World Trade Center memorial. I had never been there since the towers collapsed, and I am still feeling strange about it, like a delayed encounter with a former timeline. And the highlight of everything was going to the MoMA and seeing Ruth Asawa’s work. That was the real nourishment. Everything else was encountering the old me with the new me and having my body adjust to those small moments of recognition.

When I was in New York years ago, the performance was all about doing the right thing at the right time so I would get to the next level of the ladder. I was performing for an inner audience that only cared about the next step. Right now I do not operate like that. Right now I am aligned or I am misaligned, and that is what shows me if I am in the right place at the right time.

I am just going to go very superficial with this, because there are so many layers that I am uncovering that will need to be processed within myself, within my practices, within my practitioners, and it may take a couple of months to really reveal the core of it, but I can summarize it in one thing. My progressed chart.

As I progress

Wh