Episode Details

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I spent yesterday, November 4th 2025, desperately trying to keep my anxiety at bay.

I turned the oven on and forgot to put my dinner in. On the subway, I very nearly yelled out, “We all voted right? For Mamdani?!”

I posted a lot on Threads. Here are some highlights.

I phone-banked until the last possible second - when the Zohran for NYC campaign was told we had to shut down because they spent every last dollar that they were allowed to spend on this campaign. When those tireless volunteers and staff members found a (legal) way to keep going, I got back on the phone again.

Through it all, I kept having flashbacks to November 2016 and 2024 — the worst presedential election nights I hope to ever experience in my lifetime.

I was a senior at Vassar College on election night in 2016. I checked the polls before leaving for a rehearsal for a Midsummer Night’s Dream; Trump had just taken one of his first red states. I was shocked that any state would elect this man — even a red state. When I expressed my confusion, doubt, and unease to one of my best friends and housemates, she told me that I had nothing to worry about. It was so early. He was bound to win some of the red states. Everything was going to be fine. I had no reason to panic.

Hours later, we huddled together with classmates in the dining hall and watched the final results come in. That same friend showed me a video that Obama posted that night. His tone felt grim, and dire. I felt like he was preparing us for the worst possible outcome. I felt like we were on the eve of an impending war.

Weren’t we?

When Trump took Pennsylvania, we were all stunned to silence. The president of the democrats club took the mic to break it to us that there was no possible way that Hilary Clinton could win. Trump was officially the next President of the United States.

I don’t remember the walk back to my house. I don’t remember putting my pajamas on and getting into bed. I do remember hearing the primal scream taking place in the dorm courtyards. I also remember falling asleep to Jane the Virgin.

I woke up the next day to emails about cancelled classes, meetings, and rehearsals. It was like we were all frozen in time — unwilling and unable to walk forward into the inevitable future none of us had predicted. My English teacher, who did not cancel class, sat down and took one look at us before announcing that he simply couldn’t teach today. He told us that the great authors we were reading survived horrible times, and so would we. In that class, we were currently reading books like Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. I remember thinking “Oh God, what is about to happen to us? What is going to happen to me? What are we going to do?”

Hours later, I bumped into that same best friend and housemate in our kitchen at 3AM. I took one look at her and started crying. We held eachother. I remember wailing, “I can’t cry for the next four years!”

Up until that point, I naively thought that all the bad times were in the history books behind us. I thought that the arc of change was bending in the right direction. I thought we could only go up after eight years of having Obama in office.

Wrong.

We will leave mediocrity in our past. No longer will we have to open a history book for proof that Democrats can dare to be great…This new age will be one of relentless improvement. We will hi