Episode Details

I hate this part of internet culture where something happens and we all immediately want to comment on it and give our hot takes. And I especially hate how quick society is to make light of something very scary and serious just because it happened to a celebrity.

I also hate how righteous people can be - as if having a keyboard gives us the right to say what kind of behavior is okay and not okay.

I will say, though (at the risk of sounding righteous), that it’s deeply unsettling to be seeing memes already — of Cynthia Erivo protecting Ariana Grande.

I’ll also say that I think these actions have less to do with singular individuals making such memes — and more to do with the very parasocial relationship many people have with celebrities, due to the access that the paparazzi + the internet has perpetuated and allowed.

We are not entitled to know anything about anyone’s personal life — beyond what they choose to show us.

Knowing how a politician is spending their time during a national disaster is far different than knowing how a celebrity is spending their vacation.

Politicians have CHOSEN to devote a portion of their lives to public service, and that duty does come with certain expectations.

Celebrities should not have to carry the same expectations — and yet they do.

All public figures are not alike. They are all human, though.

And no human should be denied dignity, empathy, respect, or safety.

I will admit that I have watched the video of Cynthia protecting Ariana / Ariana being assaulted — several times, from several angles, and a few times at .5 speed. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was like watching a car crash and not being able to look away. And yet of course, it felt like there was something voyeuristic about watching again and again.

Even as someone with CPTSD, I can only begin to imagine and never fully grasp what went through Ariana’s mind. How scared she must have been. How scared Cynthia must have been when she lunged into action.

I couldn’t help but hear the echo of Elphaba yelling, “Leave her alone, she has nothing to do with this. I’m the one you want, it’s me!” in the final moments of Wicked Part 1. A natural protector on and off screen.

And then I felt guilty for thinking of that moment in the film, when faced with a scary moment from reality.

It’s like when the fires were raging through LA — and reporters pointed out how life eerily imitated art for Milo Ventimiglia, who has now lost his house in a fire on camera (in This Is Us, when his character passed away), and now in real life. It’s a kind of unavoidable comparison- but I still can’t imagine what it was like to even think about that parallel, while evacuating his house with his pets and pregnant wife who was about to give birth any day.

(I could also talk more about the outrageous lack of humanity that was shown to celebrities during those fires, but that’s a long tangent.)

We have to stretch our hearts wider and deepen our capacity for empathy.

I can feel horrified by what happened to Ariana Grande and wish her, Cynthia Erivo, Michelle Yeoh, and all of their loved ones nothing but peace (and really good security).

I can feel all of that — while simultaneously being disgusted by my government and looking up food banks to donate money to.

We don’t have to pick one unspeakably horrible thing to amplify and feel bad about at