Ep 151: Teaching People How to Treat Us

In this episode, we talk about the powerful truth that we are constantly training people how to treat us. Not through lectures. Not through convincing or explaining. But through the boundaries we set, the behaviors we allow, and the way we show up in our own lives.

Often, the patterns we feel frustrated by — being the go-to problem solver, the emotional container for everyone else, or the one who says yes more than we want — aren’t “just how things are.” They’re patterns we’ve participated in, usually because we were socialized to be helpful, agreeable, accommodating, or endlessly available.

The good news? If we trained people into the pattern, we can train them out of it.

With love. With clarity. And with zero drama.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

How we unintentionally teach people to expect more than we have capacity to give
Why overgiving or overaccommodating often comes from subconscious beliefs about worth
The difference between setting a boundary and trying to control someone else’s behavior
How to shift patterns without guilt, resentment, or emotional explosions
A simple sentence for kindly and clearly retraining expectations
How choosing your needs doesn’t disconnect you — it creates cleaner, more honest, more loving relationships
How the way we talk about our ideas sometimes matters more than the ideas themselves

Every time you say yes when you mean no, you’re training someone to believe your needs don’t matter. Every time you say no with love, you’re training someone to treat your needs as real and important.

You don’t have to become someone tough or closed to set boundaries. You don’t have to push people away. You simply have to tell the truth about what works for you — and stay consistent — so the relationship can reorganize in a healthier shape.

And every one of those things is true of the ideas we’re trying to make real. We are training people how to think about the things we create. We are creating reality with the words that we say and the energy we say it with.

Mentioned in this episode:

Culture Code by Daniel Coyle
Failure Tolerance
The Bloom Room + Moxie Mastermind — where we build the internal capacity to lead our lives instead of reacting to them

How to connect with Marie:

JOIN THE BLOOM ROOM!
We'll take all these ideas and apply them to our lives. Follow me on Instagram at @the.bloom.coach to learn more and snag a spot in my group coaching program!

Published on 1 week ago

Podcast Episode Details

Ep 151: Teaching People How to Treat Us