Episode Details

Today I am very excited to introduce you to Dr. Vanessa Bohns, author of You Have More Influence Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Power of Persuasion and Why It Matters. She got her Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Columbia University and her AB in Psychology from Brown University. Her research looks at social influence and the psychology of compliance and consent.

She has been published in Psychological Science, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Organization Science, the Yale Law Journal, and more. She and her work have also been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, The Economist, Harvard Business Review, and NPR. She is an associate editor at the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, was previously editor of the social influence section of Social and Personality Psychology Compass, and sits on the editorial boards of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology and Social Cognition. In this episode, we talk about influence, building relationships, Vanessa's book, and so much more. If you have been loving all the conversations about influence this episode is a must-listen.

• [00:43] Today I am very excited to introduce you to Dr. Vanessa Bohns, author of You Have More Influence Than You Think: How We Underestimate Our Power of Persuasion, and Why It Matters.
• [03:32] Vanessa shares about herself and her background. She is an experimental social psychologist.
• [05:04] She started on this journey of exploring influence in a different way than many other people have. They look at what their intuitions are to influence and how they match or don't match reality.
• [06:39] In general, we get focused on one negative thing and we are so focused on that one thing that we don't pay attention to all of the other things that other people are paying attention to.
• [07:07] Vanessa shares about the "weird shirt" study.
• [09:51] Good news! People are not paying attention to the things you hope they are not paying attention to and the things that you are really insecure about.
• [10:17] The invisibility cloak illusion is the idea that we often feel like we walk through the world wrapped up in an invisibility cloak; you feel invisible to the world, but are not. People are noticing you and more than you tend to think.
• [11:44] People are actually paying attention to us as a whole, but they are not noticing the tiny embarrassing flaws that are the things we worry that people are noticing. In the end, we are having more influence than we think in a more positive way often than we think.
• [13:54] Influence works both ways. It is not just the person standing in front of the room, it is also the people they are speaking to that can have influence.
• [15:26] The audience sitting there without saying a word can really shape the beliefs of that person at the front of the room.
• [17:15] One thing that was difficult for a lot of people is doing presentations over a virtual format where you lose audience feedback.
• [20:09] There is so much feedback you get from nonverbals that you take for granted. Vanessa wove in polls and chat questions to maintain engagement virtually.
• [21:51] She found that going around the room in Zoom and having everyone share what they think about a particular topic has really helped in her virtual presentations.
• [23:18] Breakout rooms in online platforms are a great way to re-energize participants.
• [26:16] We have lost so much of the interpersonal aspects of influence by moving to a virtual environment.
• [28:39] People really just get the gist of what we say.
• [30:07] In general, people only speak up about things that they really care about.
• [31:57] The online chat feature is an