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The Viral Colostomy Bag Is Back On Tiktok Shop!

The Viral Colostomy Bag Is Back On Tiktok Shop!

Published 6 months, 1 week ago
Description

On Today's Show:Cold Open

  • “My aunt done did shit herself again” — midnight mattress disaster confessional (bedside cleanup vs. sleep debate).

  • Sponsor tag: DV listener Lubejob (“a bucket of his diarrhea…”) + Tim’s meltdown intro montage.

  • Today’s Sponsor: DV listener Lubejob

    • Requests: (1) Play the classic “Lube Job” clip; (2) “good, juicy prolapse audio.”

    • Tim recovered the ancient clip from DV archives (TellMe-era origin; first aired on DV circa 2005).

  • TikTok “viral bedside table” = literal hospital over-bed table rebranded as a home breakthrough.

  • Theory: creators pluck cheap, existing medical items → hype as “new,” jack prices via affiliate links.

  • Tim’s parody ad escalates to the “viral TikTok bedpan” (pastel colors like “Rockin’ Raspberry”) and accidental “bed pen” confusion.

  • PSA to listeners: do not mail Tim a bedpan or hospital table (someone already mailed him a Bop It).

  • Account run by Debra; long-suffering husband Daryl.

  • Vibe: “living her best life” (alleged meth/Molly) vs. Daryl’s “golden years” grump mode.

  • Beach-day car fight: Debra hyper-chatty about trees/bark; Daryl wants silence (“shut up” refrain).

  • Home blow-ups: door slams, “stoned out motherf**ker,” threats, “common area” stand-offs.

  • Tim’s prognosis: this saga ends in homicide or OD (morbid popcorn watch).

  • Restaurant conspiracy spiral: Zoom call in kitchen “giving instructions” to poison him; refuses food as “microwaved with meds.”

  • Apartment torment: soap in water heater; chemical sprays; salt water on bedding; laundry sabotaged to make him look incompetent.

  • Non-sequitur heel-turn: women’s lib and “saving Generation Beta.”

  • Tim: enjoy the content while it lasts; commitment papers likely incoming.

  • Pastors’ “Holy Laughter” circle: rolling, shaking, giggling like an asylum scene.

  • Pastor Joel Webin segment: “the talk” about avoiding certain strangers by race; explicitly racist guidance.

  • Tim’s running commentary: “life lessons” from a “man of the cloth,” plus a note to Black Christians on the pastor’s logic (bleak satire).

  1. Dental Nurse Eye-Roll Payout (UK)

    • Worker Maureen Howison wins ~£25k (~$33k) after tribunal rules hostile environment due to repeated eye-rolling/ignoring by coworker Jizna Iqbal and management inaction.

    • Tim’s take: “develop thicker skin,” but court dinged employer for failing to act.

  2. Texas Roommate Murder Caught by Butt Dial

    • Flight attendant Rana Nofal Saluri missing since March; roommate Dennis Day arrested.

    • Accidental 1:57 call on alleged accomplice Joni Thomas’s phone captures “push the bin, lock the lid” directions; home cam shows dragging a body.

    • Tim’s “how not to” disposal lecture (don’t dump full bodies off bridges; stop recording your crimes).

  3. Wolfenstein II Nearly Showed Hitler’s Penis

    • MachineGames considered explicit urination scene; Bethesda vetoed.

    • Tim campaigns for a future mod that lets players shoot off Hitler’s cock; notes Sniper Elite’s one-ball gag.

  • Classic “Lube Job” auto-repair-as-gay-sex tutorial clip (DV deep

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