Episode Details

🧠 On Today’s Episode:

• Masturbation for Science!
  Tim checks to make sure his dick’s still operational. It’s all about male health and quality control, folks.
  ➤ “Sometimes it’s not about pleasure—it’s a systems check.”

• Confessions of an Old Lady Walker
  Tim celebrates a massive weight loss milestone (70 pounds!) and the thrill of fitting into decade-old “large” shirts again. Sadly, Lord Douche still won’t let him do laundry without internet surveillance.

• Air Fryer Anarchy
  When Lord Douche leaves town, Tim rebels by cooking salmon in the air fryer. Somewhere in Florida, a man screams.

• Becoming a Cripple (For Fun!)
  A deep dive into “trans wheelchair users”—able-bodied people who identify as disabled. Tim explores their tips for faking ailments and the strange world of subliminal paraplegia playlists.

• Cuomo’s Comeback Disaster
  Former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s mayoral announcement goes about as well as you’d expect when the crowd’s screaming “rapist” and “homosexual.”

• Parking Lot Pile-Up
  Tim breaks down a viral confrontation between a Trump-hatted white guy and a black woman blocking two parking spots. Spoiler: everyone’s an asshole.

• OpenAI Gets Horny
  ChatGPT is finally allowed to generate erotic content for verified adults. Tim’s thrilled. “I’m going to break ChatGPT in December.”

• Stabby at Marshalls
  A woman in Kearny, New Jersey buys kitchen knives mid-argument and uses them to stab another customer over slow checkout lines. Tim sympathizes—he almost went “stabby” at Kroger himself.

Timestamps:

00:00:00

 Introduction

00:00:00

 Wednesday Movie Matinee

00:18:14

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00:38:04

 Introduction

02:07:18

 Today's DV Listener Sponsor: Brandon!

03:06:17

 What Is your Masturbation Number?

06:27:00

 Tim Henson Fit N' Lean

10:39:13

 Big Douche Is Watching My Appliance Usage 

15:30:04

 Trans-Wheelchair User Tips And Tricks

19:48:22

 Andrew Cuomo Gets Heckled

21:51:01

 Parking Lot Altercation Gets Racist

26:38:01

QuantumSquares.Com - Promo Code: FREAK - 25% OFF

28:37:17

 Sign Up For The Sideshow!

30:02:10

 ChatGPT Will Get Real Nasty With You Soon

33:35:17

 Stabbing At The Checkout Lane

38:28:10

 Jordan Peterson Thanks Today's Sponsor

39:36:11

Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending