Episode Details

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In today’s episode, we have not just one incredible guest—but two! I’m joined by Hilary Jacobs Hendel and Juli Fraga, co-authors of Parents Have Feelings, Too: A Guide to Navigating Your Emotions So You and Your Family Can Thrive.

This practical, compassionate guide helps parents understand and process their own emotions—and teaches them how to pass this essential life skill of emotional intelligence on to their children. Hilary is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor, while Juli is a psychologist specializing in maternal mental health with nearly 20 years of experience.

Highlights:

• The education of emotions and why most of us never learned how to understand them in school.
• The Change Triangle, a core concept from the book, and how it helps you identify, validate, and work through emotions.
• The myth that dealing with emotions takes more work - when, in fact, recognizing & validating them actually makes life easier.
• How reworking neural networks leads to lifelong healing and emotional freedom.
• The difference between healthy and poor use of emotions—and how to tell them apart.

Even if you’re not a parent, this episode is for anyone living in community. Understanding your emotions transforms how you connect with others, at home and beyond. Tune in to hear how emotional awareness can change your relationships, and your life.

Connect with Hilary & Juli:

• Instagram
  • Hilary
  • Parents Have Feelings, Too
• Hilary’s website
• Purchase Parents Have Feelings, Too

Books and authors mentioned in the episode:

• It’s Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel
• Mothering without a Map by Kathryn Black
• Attachment-Focused EMDR by Laurel Parnell
• Dream School by Jeffrey Salingo
• The Power of Parting by Eamon Dolan

Book Flight

• Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back by Dr. Ingrid Clayton
• Who Gets In and Why: A Year Inside College Admissions by Jeffrey Salingo
• The Psychology of Shame by Gershen Kaufman
• Shame and Pride by Donald L. Nathanson

The BFF Book Club is becoming a family affair! ❤️ This our FREE virtual book club, where we read together each month and have live author chats.

Each Family Book Flight pairs our BFF Book Club pick with:

• One chapter book for growing readers
• One picture book for our littlest readers
• A few family conversation starters + a simple activity

Three books. One common theme.

→ Join us here: https://bookishflights.kit.com/bfffamily

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