Episode Details

I remember discovering I was carrying my second child. While I wanted another baby, my first pregnancy was rough and I hated the thought of enduring labor again. My husband couldn't understand my ambivalence because he responded with excitement to the news.

However, a few days later, I began to bleed, and that alarmed me.  Suddenly, I wanted this baby. A lot! The inner nurse surfaced and I feared the worst. This time I was correct. My doctor did a sonogram, which proved the sack had dissolved. The baby was dead.

Afterward, gloom impacted my judgement.  I thought of my training and decided I would probably never have another child. Infertility would plague me forever. I knew from my studies the problem often started this way. 

To make matters worse, Another lady at church had a due date close to mine, and I watched in pain as her tummy grew. My heart ached with emptiness. I avoided her because she would have a new baby, and I would not.

That experience gave me sympathy for those who struggle to have a child.

My guest today is Crystal Bowman, and she has written about infertility to offer hope for women who suffer.