Killing Karoline with Sara-Jayne Makwala King
Episode 64
Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!
My guest this week is Sara-Jayne Makwala King
Sara-Jayne is a household name here in South Africa - she's a journalist, a radio presenter and an author.
In this Episode
- Sara-Jayne’s birth was the result of an illegal affair between a white British woman and black South African man during apartheid – she shares her extraordinary story in her memoir Killing Karoline.
- As a child she used to read voraciously as a form of escape and as a teenager she went on to develop eating disorders and cutting to numb her pain
- Her alcohol use began to get out of control when she moved to Dubai – she never really acknowledged it was a problem as her brother was a severe “alcoholic” and she was not like him – she was a functioning alcoholic
- We talked about alcoholism being on a spectrum… one end…the other. most of us are in between
- Sara-Jayne got fired from her job as a journalist in Dubai for being so difficult – she felt so angry unhappy that one day she was even tempted to crash her car when driving along a busy road.
- Her mother and partner got her into rehab – she was only supposed to stay for 28 days but she actually stayed for 10 months – she was learning, digging deep and becoming aware that she needed to “do the work” if she was to recover
- Sara-Jayne believes that recovery can’t be forced on you – you have to be ready. And she was ready
- It was connecting with the other people in rehab that healed her – she appreciates the deep value of sharing
- Sara-Jayne realized that she’d been carrying her birth mothers secret and shame for a long time – a secret that was not even hers to carry – that had been the root of her addictions and her unhappiness so these days she strives for truth and authenticity
- She realizes that we can’t hang on to secrets and shame – the that only the truth will set us free
- We see this at our workshops – when we ask people to share their stories you can see the relief in their faces as they tell their stories about how unhappy alcohol has been making them – stories they may never have said out load before
- We agreed that “connection is the opposite of addiction” – scientifically proved by the “rat park” experiment which is featured in Johan Haris TED talk – Everything you thought you knew about addiction is wrong - catch it here
- Sara-Jayne feels that Recovery is about finding a space where you can feel safe and share your feelings – it could be Tribe Sober or it could be AA – there are so many alternatives out there
- We talked about the recent study by the Tempest which showed that the average time between realizing that you had a problem and getting help was 11 years – Sara-Jayne agreed that sounded about right but that we should acknowledge that seeds can be still be sewn and growth will take place during those years
- If you are listening to this and would like a bit of support to make a change just go to tribesober.com and check us out – you can grab a freebie, do a challenge, join our community or do a workshop
- Sarah-Jayne is on Cape Talk 567AM on Saturdays and Sundays 7-10am
- You can buy Sara-Jayne's fascinating book Killing Karoline here
More info