Episode Details

Many are resigned to stay silent about the pain of being scammed, but today's guest helps empower others by vulnerably communicating her experience and sharing specific warning signs.

Today's guest is Debby Montgomery Johnson. Debby is founder of The Woman Behind the Smile, Inc. She is a best-selling author, international speaker, entrepreneur, podcast host, former Air Force officer who served at the Pentagon, and is a woman on a mission. In her book The Woman Behind the Smile, she shares her personal experience with a love that turned to betrayal and financial disaster. She removes the mask of shame and shows others how to do the same.

• [1:07] - Debby shares the person she was before she was scammed. Her husband of 26 years had unexpectedly passed away, she had a varied career background, and is a mother and grandmother.
• [2:08] - After her husband passed away, she had to step up and run his business without a lot of training or knowledge.
• [3:05] - Debby had very little time to grieve as she would work her job and then go straight into managing her late husband's business.
• [3:59] - When her friends noticed that she was staying home so much to work on the business, they told her she needed to get out and "have a life." A friend recommended online dating.
• [4:56] - Debby was very transparent in her online dating profile. She stepped into it very carefully.
• [5:46] - Although Debby was very particular, she did eventually meet someone who caught her attention and that's how everything started.
• [6:43] - Debby explains that something that scammers do is try to take you off the dating sites to talk and Debby would talk to him on Yahoo Chat instead.
• [8:39] - After speaking with a psychologist later on, Debby was told that she likely never felt listened to based on her behaviors and she admits that Eric, the man she met online, did listen to her.
• [9:47] - Over two years of communicating with Eric, Debby felt listened to and shares that she had wonderful conversations through writing with him.
• [11:22] - At this point in time, Debby was familiar with online dating scams and never felt like anything sinister was going on.
• [12:23] - Debby began lending money to Eric as a way to help him through his jobs until he would get paid. He always promised to pay her back. The energy came from the sooner he finished a job, the sooner he would come home.
• [14:01] - The first red flag for Debby was when he asked her to set up a power of attorney and use Western Union to send him money.
• [15:43] - In addition to asking for money, Eric also was successful in further isolating Debby from her friends and family. Debby shares how her sons warned her against a relationship with Eric.
• [17:50] - After being married for so long, Debby wasn't ready for a physical relationship, but she was ready for a friendship. Eric turned into a confidante.
• [18:59] - Debby explains how she wanted to video chat with Eric but that he always had an excuse as to why he couldn't get online to do that.
• [20:13] - Eric continued to ask Debby for money for his issues with his international business. Looking back, she shares that it all seems so ridiculous but the urgency was overpowering.
• [21:01] - Debby admits that she did not have the large sums of money Eric needed and she dipped into retirement funds, sold jewelry, and even borrowed a very large sum from her parents.
• [23:47] - When asked if she would go back and change things if she could, Debby says she would actually let things happen the way they happened. She learned so much about herself during this time and is now able to help others.
• [25:36] - Chris shares a story that illustrates the lack of knowledge surrounding scams and security.
• [27:28] - When you think of an online romance scam, you'll think 'oh that w