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Lazy Husband or Overloaded Wife? Fixing the Uneven Load Before Resentment Wins
Episode 1452
Ever come home from work to a house that looks like a bomb went off—while your partner relaxes? Today Justin answers a listener who’s furious at a husband who won’t pull his weight. Is it laziness, “feigned incompetence,” or something deeper? Justin shares the tough-love steps every parent needs to hear to reclaim balance without a shouting match.
Plus: a second listener asks for help with a 12-year-old facing anxiety, insomnia, and no friends—Justin’s practical roadmap will give you hope tonight.
KEY POINTS
- Why “feigned incompetence” is a relationship killer—and how to call it out with compassion.
- Three steps to stop enabling: drop the martyr act, have the hard conversation, and set clear expectations.
- Family meetings as a secret weapon for shared responsibility.
- Supporting a tween with severe anxiety and sleep struggles: routines, medical checks, and delight-driven activities.
- How better sleep restores calm for the whole household.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“You deserve a partner, not a project.” – Dr Justin Coulson
RESOURCES
- Couples meeting [Podcast Episode]
- The Importance of Sleep: How I Work Crossover [Podcast Episode]
- #452 Weaponised Incompetence [Podcast Episode]
- Parenting On The Same Page [Webinar]
- We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing [Webinar]
- A Grown Up’s Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!) [Download]
- Riding the Waves: Tools for Taming Anxiety [Course for kids & teens]
- #310 Bedtime is the Right Time [Podcast Episode]
- #990 Mental Health Challenges with Anne Hollonds [Podcast Episode]
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
- Name the Load – Write down every daily task you’re carrying; share it with your partner without blame.
- Set a Couple’s Meeting – Weekly 15-minute check-ins to agree on chores, schedules, and support.
- Prioritise Sleep – Create predictable bedtime routines for kids and adults.
- Find Delight – Help your child discover activities that light them up to ease anxiety and improve sleep.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Published on 2 months, 3 weeks ago