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44. Why bad behaviour is rarely bad at all (and how to respond instead) with Leanne Tran
Description
⚡ Sticker charts, punishments, time-outs — most ADHD mums have tried them. And most of us have felt the gut-punch of guilt when they “don’t work.” But here’s the truth: what looks like “bad behaviour” is usually a dysregulated nervous system asking for help, not a child trying to make life harder .
In this episode, Jane speaks with psychologist Leanne Tran about why conventional behaviour strategies fail ADHD kids, how shame sneaks in, and what parents can do instead. Together, they reframe “naughtiness” as communication — and offer practical tools for scaffolding, connection, and regulation .
What We Cover in This Episode
- Why ADHD behaviour challenges are about regulation, not defiance
- The limits of sticker charts and why they often backfire
- Punishment vs reinforcement: why one creates shame, the other builds skills
- How to support kids before chaos — scaffolding, structure, and skill-building
- Quick-win strategies for meltdowns: novelty, humour, and breaking stress loops
- Boundaries vs values: why flexibility matters when ADHD is in the mix
- Why behaviour isn’t a reflection of your parenting — and how to drop the shame
This Episode Is For You If…
- You’ve spent money on sticker charts, pens, and rewards — only to feel like you failed when they didn’t work
- You’re sick of judgment from schools, family, or strangers about your child’s behaviour
- You want alternatives to punishment that don’t just pile on shame
- You struggle with consistency yourself and feel guilty for not “parenting perfectly”
- You need tools that actually work for ADHD kids — and for ADHD mums who can’t parent like robots
References & Resources Mentioned
- Leanne Tran’s Website → https://www.leannetran.com.au
- Follow Leanne on Instagram → @leannetranpsychology
- Free resources → learn.leannetran.com.au/free
- Lean’s Upcoming Webinar: Next steps for parents of neurodivergent kids - 10th of every month at 7pm
- Psychoeducation Courses (50% off with code ADHDMUMS):
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