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A Reason, a season or a lifetime
Description
In this episode, I dive deep into the ever-evolving world of friendships—especially what happens to our friendships when life gets tough. Drawing from my own recent experiences, I explore how trauma can impact our capacity to maintain relationships, why our friend circles might shrink, and the common misunderstandings that occur on both sides.
[00:01:06] Julia shares how she’s revisiting the topic of friendship from a new, more personal angle—especially reflecting on her own recent experiences during a challenging time.
[00:02:15] She explains how her capacity for social interaction diminished, and her friendship circle shrank as a result of what she was going through.
[00:03:09] Julia describes how some friends were understanding and supportive during her withdrawal, while others struggled with her need for space.
[00:03:53] She delves into the psychodynamic perspective: how traumatic experiences can put us in survival mode, leading to withdrawal as a defense mechanism, and why we might appear distant or unresponsive to friends.
[00:04:42] Further exploration of defense mechanisms at play—withdrawal, avoidance, and denial—as well as how this can affect communication with friends.
[00:05:39] Discussion of projection and displacement, where friends might express hurt and frustration not directly related to the root cause.
[00:06:13] Julia addresses the role of guilt and shame, and how withdrawing to take care of oneself can feel like letting others down—even when it’s necessary for personal well-being.
[00:07:01] Exploration of the psychological reasons friends might feel left out—envy or feelings of exclusion—and how this can surface as passive aggression.
[00:07:53] Julia discusses what true friendship looks like from a psychodynamic lens, referencing Winnicott and Bion, and invites listeners to consider their own friendship patterns.
Reflect on where you are in your own friendships—have you needed space, or perhaps a friend has? How did you respond? Remember, sometimes people are in our lives for “a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
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