Self-Care vs. Self-Indulgence: Protection, Not Perks with Becky Lauridsen

Episode 81

September invites fresh structure and, if we’re not careful, fresh burnout. In this conversation, licensed professional counselor and Enneagram coach Becky Lauridsen reframes self-care as protection (not pampering) and opens the door to brain health with neurofeedback. From postpartum anxiety and over-functioning to rodeo performance and concussion recovery, we explore how to build capacity on purpose, before the crash out.

Becky shares the origin story of IOWEME (“I owe me”), a preventative, accessible, guilt-free self-care model born from her own burnout and postpartum anxiety. We unpack the crucial difference between self-indulgence (instant relief, little ROI) and true self-care (sometimes uncomfortable, always compounding). We also trade the myth of work–life balance for work–life harmony: a “pleasing arrangement of parts” calibrated to your actual rhythms (hello, 5:30am clarity!).

Then Becky takes us into ROAM (Rodeo Optimization and Mindset) and explains low-energy neurofeedback as a practical path to brain health. Think “parking brake off” for your frontal lobe: better regulation, focus, and recovery after high-intensity performance (for athletes and their horses). If you’re craving capacity that’s truly sustainable, this one’s for you.

Listen in for …

The self-care vs. self-indulgence distinction, and why protection beats pampering.
The IOWEME model: preventative, accessible, and simple mental-health support.
Work/life harmony (not balance): designing a “pleasing arrangement of parts.”
The “check-engine light” for burnout (irritability over the stray socks = signal).
Neurofeedback 101: electrical vs. chemical brain systems, suppression, and flexibility.
The “parking brake” metaphor: why so many high-capacity women feel stuck in Delta.
Performance & recovery for rodeo athletes, and why brain care must match body care.
The pony case study (!) and what equine sessions revealed about regulation.

TL;DR (Minute by Minute)

00:00 “Conversations” > “episodes” + why listener feedback matters.
01:11 Meet Becky: LPC, EMDR, Enneagram coach, LENS neurofeedback provider.
06:17 Postpartum anxiety, burnout, and the wake-up call: it starts with me.
10:01 IOWEME origin: from reactive therapy culture to preventative care.
12:32 Responsibility & boundaries: self-care as non-negotiable, not “extra.”
16:00 Self-indulgence vs self-care (instant relief vs lasting effect).
18:54 “Outweigh the indulgence”: a practical rule that still leaves room for fun.
23:44 Non-negotiable habits: why early-morning quiet time compounds.
27:34 Work/life harmony > balance; design for your real energy ebb and flow.
31:47 ROAM begins: from rodeo roots to neurofeedback certification.
35:49 Neurofeedback explained: amplitude, frequency, suppression.
38:59 The parking brake brain: lifting Delta lock for flexible regulation.
41:01 Equine neurofeedback: the pony case and practical behavior change.
43:35 Head trauma, concussions, CTE risk, and recovery as standard practice.
47:26 Where to find Becky + what’s next.

Where to Go From Here

Question for you: When the day feels heavy, which shows up first: self-indulgence or true self-care? Screenshot and tag @cowgirlsovercoffee with your answer so we can crowdsource smart strategies that actually stick.

The FREE Routine Playbook. Your step-by-step for routines that protect capacity (so consistency can finally kick in!). Get Yours Here

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Published on 3 weeks ago

Podcast Episode Details

Self-Care vs. Self-Indulgence: Protection, Not Perks with Becky Lauridsen