Episode Details

In this episode, Julie explores the hidden stories that hold us back at work and in life with business strategist Katherine Danesi, diving into unconscious narratives and commitments that keep us stuck despite our conscious desires to grow and thrive.

Many of us have heard Carl Jung’s famous quote…

"Until you make the subconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”Today, we explore how unconscious narratives—usually created in childhood for valid safety reasons—become unconscious commitments that sabotage our adult goals.

What are Conscious Desires vs. Unconscious Commitments?

• Conscious desires: The goals we articulate (work-life balance, business growth, better boundaries)
• Unconscious commitments: The underlying patterns revealed by our actual results
• Key insight: "Having is evidence of wanting" - our results show what we're unconsciously committed to.

What is often happening is that there is a gap between “want” and “willingness”.

Here is the distinction:

• Want: Your conscious goal
• Willingness: Your readiness to do what's required to achieve it

Many people have the want but lack willingness to face the discomfort of change.

So how do you uncover your narratives?  Here are some good questions to ask yourself:

• "What's your story/narrative around that?"
• "How does this pattern serve you?"
•  “How does this pattern not serve you?”
• "Is this story true? How do you know?"
• "Who are you when you believe this story?"

These unconscious commitments were often adaptive patterns that we learned a long time ago that were essential in childhood and necessary for us to feel safe, secure, loved and accepted. They worked really well in their original context but they limit us now as the context of our lives has changed.

So how do we move from Unconscious to Conscious?

1. Name it: Identify the unconscious narrative
2. Understand how it served you: Recognize its original protective function
3. Assess current relevance: Determine if it still serves your adult goals
4. Choose consciously: Decide what to do with this awareness

The goal is not to eliminate these parts of yourself—it is to develop conscious choice about when and how they show up.

This Week's Challenge

Identify one area where you say you want something but your results suggest otherwise. Ask yourself:

• What's my story around this area?
• How might this pattern have served me in the past?
• What would be possible if I brought this unconscious commitment into consciousness?

Making unconscious narratives conscious is essential for thriving.  It allows for greater awareness and authenticity, vulnerability in relationships, forward movement toward goals, and clearer vision of purpose. Remember, name it to navigate it Thrivers!

 

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Want more tools and strategies for thriving and flourishing? 

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