Episode Details

Would your life really have been better if the bad thing had not happened? Three things that keep me steady, and the first is that the alternative might have been worse.

People tell me I would have had a wonderful career and a family if I had not broken my neck. They cannot know that. That year I had been kicked out of sixth form, run away from home and taken an overdose. My trajectory was not brilliant. Second, negative thoughts are not bad thoughts. Round a campfire at night, the pessimist who says stop the music and listen is the one who saves you. Third, you cannot change this moment. Only the next one.

One thing to try: Next time you catch yourself on if only, finish the sentence honestly. You do not know the other version was better. Nobody does.

In this episode

• (0:09) Saying goodbye to HMS Tamar, and being told off for calling it a boat
• (2:42) The three things, and why these are the ones I live by
• (4:04) The year of the overdose, and why the alternative was never safe
• (5:03) The traffic jam that might have been saving you
• (6:51) Negative thoughts are your mind doing its job properly
• (7:56) The campfire, the bang in the dark, and who survives
• (11:39) You cannot change this moment, only influence the next
• (13:48) The one thing you are genuinely in control of

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Thank you for listening.

Steven

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