#239: Stop Choosing Silence: Skills that Save Relationships Under Pressure

---

---

Send us a text

When a partner says they need space, most of us freeze, wait, and hope, until reality lands like a punch in the gut. In this episode, Staci, Tom, and Brooke unpack the “default option”: the unconscious choices (shutting down, chasing, over-explaining, policing “boundaries”) that slowly erode connection. You’ll learn why love isn’t the problem, missing skills are, and how simple, repeatable practices (regulating your body, translating feelings into words, reaching for repair) interrupt panic and create safety. We walk through a real couple’s story (Mark & Maggie) to show the shift from defensiveness to steady reconnection, and we introduce Action-Reward Pricing for the 30-Day Roadmap, built to get you out of limbo now, not “someday.” Plus: a playful “Default Flip Interrupt” you can try today, and the Song of the Week to get you moving when anxiety pins you down.

Key Takeaways

• The “default option” = waiting, pretending, spiraling, and silent drift. It chooses you when you don’t choose skills.
• Love isn’t broken; the missing pieces are conflict skills, emotional regulation, repair, and agreements.
• Regulation first, words second: calm your body before you speak (or you’ll weaponize your words).
• Consistency builds trust; wobbling between calm and chaos erodes it.
• Tiny, repeatable moves, nervous system resets, clear asks, humble repair, change the day-to-day.

Timestamps: 

03:50 The Impact of Avoidance and Miscommunication
07:37 The Importance of Relationship Skills
12:31 A Real-Life Example: Mark and Maggie
18:24 Steps to Interrupt the Default Option
23:07 The 30-Day Roadmap to Relationship Skills
25:23 Special Offer and Pricing Strategy
32:14 Humor and Exaggeration to Break Patterns
37:32 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Resources Mentioned

• Take the Quiz (free): https://space-assessment.scoreapp.com/
• Love in Limbo: 30-Day Roadmap: daily practice, coaching, and community to steady yourself and rebuild connection. Join here: https://stacibartley.com/30-day-roadmap
• Action-Reward Pricing: Join earliest for $197; waiting increases to $267 → $337 → $397. Prices rise because action now saves you money, and saves you weeks of spiraling while you wait.
• While-You-Wait Starter Kit: instant access to a 30-day audio challenge, meditations, coping tools, and journaling prompts so you start today.
• Earn Your Money Back: finish the Roadmap and apply your full investment to your next step with us.

---

Published on 1 day, 4 hours ago