Donna Adelson's Scapegoats & Loyalty: Why Wendy Adelson Didn't Push Back
Donna Adelson's Scapegoats & Loyalty: Why Wendy Adelson Didn't Push Back
Why do some kids push back against toxic parents while others surrender completely? In this segment, Tony Brueski and psychotherapist Shavaun Scott dig into how loyalty is conditioned inside enmeshed families—and why dissent is often crushed early.
We explore how toddlers quickly learn not to challenge a domineering parent, fearing hysterical or angry reactions. This early conditioning often leads to adult children who never stand up to mom or dad—even when it destroys their independence. In families like the Adelsons, it creates stark roles: the golden child who exists to comfort and protect, and the scapegoat who rebels and gets cast out.
The conversation also turns to Wendy Adelson. Did she ever see her mother’s control as unhealthy, or was it always disguised as “love”? Now, under the glare of testimony, has Wendy finally begun to reflect on what her family dynamic really was?
Shavaun explains how fear of losing a parent’s love—or losing one’s place in the family—becomes more powerful than logic. Even when adult children suspect things aren’t right, they rationalize and keep quiet. Meanwhile, the family system thrives on control and conformity.
This discussion highlights how “tight-knit” can be a dangerous illusion—and how the psychology of loyalty explains why some families will cross shocking lines of morality to protect their own.