Episode Details

In this episode of The Motherwhelm, I sit down with Mahaley Patel, perinatal therapist, co-author of Your NICU Story, and mother of four, to talk about infant loss, birth after loss, surrogacy, and parenting through grief.

Mahaley shares the story of losing her second daughter, Sacchi, and reflects on how that profound loss shaped every chapter of motherhood that followed. Together, we explore the complexities of infant loss, birth after loss, and her family's surrogacy journey, as well as the ongoing challenge of parenting while carrying both love and grief.

We also discuss what it means to honour the child who died without allowing grief to overshadow the lives of the children who are here today. Mahaley speaks with extraordinary honesty about balancing fear with hope, making room for joy alongside sorrow, and creating a childhood for her children that is filled with love while acknowledging the daughter who will always be part of their family.

If you've experienced infant loss, NICU loss, birth after loss, surrogacy, or you're navigating the lifelong journey of parenting while grieving, I hope Mahaley's story offers comfort, understanding, and the reassurance that love can hold both grief and hope at the same time.

Books mentioned

• Your NICU Story: Reflecting on Your Family's Experience by Mahaley Patel and Emily Souder

• The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

• How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King

• The Family Firm by Emily Oster

• Books by Dr Becky Kennedy

• Untangled by Lisa Damour

• Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher

Topics discussed: infant loss, neonatal loss, NICU, birth after loss, surrogacy, grief, parenting after loss, perinatal mental health, perinatal therapist, motherhood, healing.