What makes someone become violent toward their intimate partner? What invisible chains keep victims trapped in abusive relationships? And how do we heal not just ourselves, but our children from the lasting trauma of domestic violence?
Dr. Blessy Ntamu, a distinguished psychologist with over two decades of expertise in stress management and gender-based violence prevention, peels back the layers of this complex issue with remarkable clarity and compassion. She confronts the uncomfortable truth that while men can be victims, women bear the disproportionate burden of gender-based violence, suffering at rates approaching 97%.
The conversation challenges common misconceptions that enable abuse, particularly those rooted in cultural and religious traditions. Dr. Ntamu firmly debunks the notion that marriage confers ownership rights over another person: "You cannot buy a human. It is against the laws of the land anywhere that I know." She explains how psychological abuse, though invisible to others, often leaves deeper scars than physical violence, making validation and recovery even more challenging.
Perhaps most powerful is her examination of the tactics abusers use to maintain control isolation from support networks, financial dependency, and manipulation of religious concepts like "submission." For those trapped in these situations, Dr. Ntamu offers practical guidance on rebuilding connections and financial independence. "Any man saying you should not work is a huge red flag," she warns, explaining how abusers deliberately create economic dependency.
The discussion also addresses the devastating impact on children "the grass that suffers when elephants fight" and the importance of supporting their mental health alongside adult survivors. Dr. Ntamu emphasizes that seeking help shows strength, not weakness: "It is okay not to be okay."
Whether you're personally experiencing abuse, supporting someone who is, or simply want to understand this pervasive issue more deeply, this episode provides invaluable insights on recognizing, escaping, and healing from relationship violence. Subscribe now and join our community committed to authentic thriving through mental and emotional wellbeing.
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Published on 4 days, 7 hours ago
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