Episode Details

The first thing a doctor tends to ask us when we visit is about our family history. And just the way that physical things get handed down to us genetically, so do emotional, behavioural and spiritual things. Question is, what can we do about them?

One of the things that brings so much dysfunction into families is, well … things from the past; things that have been handed down genetically, emotionally and spiritually. It seems such an incredible paradox to me that the people who are most likely to sexually abuse a child are those who were themselves, abused when they were young. Doesn't that seem totally against the way it should be? Wouldn't you think that someone who was abused as a child, well the last thing they'd want to do would be inflict that on their own children?

And yet, what happens is this powerful kind of template or imprinting. Our parents hand so many things down to us: their genes, their strengths, their weaknesses. People say that I look like my Dad, I even walk like him. But it wasn't until I saw myself on a TV interview, I was shocked to realise that even my mannerisms were so much like my father's. Pretty scary!

And so alcohol addiction, bad temper, a tendency to whinge and complain, all sorts of things end up being handed down from generation to generation. Dysfunctional families are much more likely to produce children that grow up to have their own dysfunctional families.

Where does it end? Well, I have a simple answer for that. It ends today. Here and now, this very minute. That's when it ends. Let me explain.

See it's so easy to blame our parents for things, for the bad things happening; if abuse happened when you were a child. You had a father with a bad temper or your parents smoked, whatever, and then they handed those things down to you.

I don't know about your parents but mine, I had good parents. Neither of them would ever have claimed to have been perfect. I mean, who is? But they worked hard to provide for myself and my sister. I'm sure they'd look back on their lives and see the mistakes and their weaknesses but I think we need to get this all into perspective.

It's so easy to blame the past, to blame our upbringing, to blame our parents. Things get handed down from generation to generation. Some of them are good. Others aren't.

When you go see your Doctor, one of the very first things he tends to ask you is about your family history. Do you have a family history of high blood pressure or diabetes or heart disease or mental health issues or breast cancer?

Family history has a lot to do with our physical well being. My father had Type 2 diabetes. It took his life in the end. My mother has high blood pressure, and so I can just sit here and not exercise and eat whatever I want and then complain about the fact that they gave me diabetes or high blood pressure. Or, or I can do something about it. I can get off my backside and go and exercise and eat properly.

There are clear alternatives. I mean most sicknesses – diabetes, cancer, there are things we can do in our lifestyle to mitigate them happening in our lives. And it's the same with emotional and spiritual things that get handed down to us.

Maybe, I don't know, maybe you had parents who were into the occult. Maybe you had parents who fought like cat and dog. Maybe you had parents who got divorced. Maybe you had parents who knew about God but simply never honoured God with their lives. And some of that stuff gets dumped down into who you are.

Well, we have two choices. We can sit here and complain about it or we can go and do something about it. Have a listen to what happens when we put other things before God; when we accept that as the way of living that's been handed down from our parents and from their parents. Deuteronomy chapter 5, verse 8:

You shall not make for yourself an idol (That's something that you worship other than God) whether in